Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Meine Liebe : Pretty Guys Rulez!

I find myself stunning to this irresistibly new mini-series. The main reason lies on its characters and characters again! Not just it’s enriched by the 5 deadly gorgeous guys (a reminiscence of Weiss Kreuz and Gundam Wing series) but more importantly, this series has NO girl takes part on the whole story (seems like paradise to me *slurph*). The title ‘Meine Liebe’ stands for ‘My Love’ in Deutsch.

This epic story has very elegant and lovely artwork, no wonder since the characters designer was Kaori Yuki-sama, my favorite manga-ka ever. The music is prominently good afterwards, the classical style with certain modification to Japanese music. The story started in the year 1935, in a Germanic country called Kuchen. There lies Rosenstolz Academy, as a highly reputable military institute whose selected students are eligible to be the candidates of parliament. The chosen students are labeled Strahl, and there goes the story about our 5 beloved Strahls to overcome the chaotic turmoil in both of their circumstances and deepest hearts inside.

Guys may hate this typical of series, but girls might love it the most! I warn you guys, don’t watch it just to contempt. If that’s so, better mind your own business and get a life*.

* Very sorry for being rude, I’m too exhausted to be mocked just because of my weird taste of guys >_<

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Japanese Rocks, Anyone?

Gravity is on the increase
As a time goes by
My body returns to the earth
There is sky up in the air
My body is in your sky and
Your life is in my cosmos
We never come close to each other
But here we exist as it is

(Kasou ~L’Arc-en-Ciel)

I am a big fan of any western music when I was in primary school. Watching MTV everyday was a must for me, in result, i was occupied with my in depth knowledge about all kind of western music at that particular point of time. It was a proud I can remember most lyrics of the popular songs. Thus it was inevitable that I have so many girl friends ~the most chic, stylish and hip one~, since we shared the same interest about any western stuffs.

Then something triggered me to come up to the turning point of all those stuffs. I just realized that most western music and stuff merely led us to conspicuous lifestyle and worthless way of life in most of their lyrics and PV (promotional videos). I often witness their very absurd PVs about sex, kiss and sex again. Otherwise they only talked about sickening violence, overflow erotic dancers, or excessive horrible chicks. I’ve been wondering since then, what was the ‘cool’ of all these? Then I stared at their lyrics, and found coherence similarity linking their lyrics and PVs. The lyrics mainly talked about love with the reckless and hasty words I’ve ever seen.

I turned out subsequently to watch anime series instead of MTV programs, and discovered the in-depth and poetic lyrics in both of the opening and ending songs. Most of the lyrics implied about harmonious relationship among people, attached by the strong feelings towards companions, altogether with the humble and vigorous passion to face the hard life. It blew up my mind at once. I was really impressed about those gorgeous aspects of Japanese songs, and thus explored it passionately. Additionally, the evocative PVs were again causing me to unconditionally love them! Mainly the PVs were aesthetically meaningful. Even until now, I’m still keeping myself stunning all over again to the beautifulness of J-songs.

I don’t say that all J-songs are flawless, while all western songs are tasteless (it’s all regarding to our own preference, of course =P). For an instance, I’m focusing myself to Japanese-Rocks. I just desperately love their music –not all music though, but mainly their style of music!-, and keep on dreaming that someday I will become one of them XP.

Classic Formula, Invulnerable Impression

I’ve been longing for some excellent series lately. Referring to some kicking recommendations from the magazines, the series named Gundam SeeD had been #1 series in Japan in the last 2003. Since I even haven’t glanced to it, I decided to screen and witness if that series are really worth to watch. And yes, it is.

The story used to be a classic formula; best friends who inevitably forced to be enemies because of war (remember the pairings of Naruto-Sasuke in Naruto and Jowy Atreides-Hero in Suikoden II). The chronicle was getting more and more complicated since the story makers diligently added some unexpected side stories and unforeseen stuffs. The main character was namely Kira Yamato, who is strained to fight his childhood friend, Athrun Zala. Focusing on the war between Natural (the ordinary human beings) and Coordinator (the superiors, derived from finer genes creation), these series were somewhat remind me of sort kind of racial discrimination.

I love this typical of story. It makes me whimper a night and day, since the storyline is bursting by such agony and anguish feelings within the characters. Furthermore, I feel emotionally attached to particular characters. Towards an end, I declare that this series is truly really definitely absolutely extremely worth to watch! Enjoy the story and catch the pleasure =).

Monday, November 21, 2005

Yesterday and Today


I whispered your name in my last tear drops,

Following your cries into this everlasting labyrinth

I painted your name with my nearly-drying blood,

Echoing your grieves within this endless universe

Towards the silence, gazing at my ephemeral future

My tomorrow would never come

I called you hopelessly, I called your name


Now that I lost my wings, unable to soar

Now that I lost my soul, powerless to lament

It is a perfect moment, before I disappear

Just one question, My Dear..

Will you put those flowers in my grave?

~Just written in my sleepless dawn~
I want to sleep normally *sigh* T_T

Sunday, November 20, 2005


I am doing photoshop recently after drooling at some works in Devianart. This is my 2nd photoshop colouring. (My sincere gratitude goes to Bro Adityo for such wonderful tutorials ^O^). This work is very plain and dull (i'm too discourage to blend up some striking colours X(.)Perhaps it's still a long way to go to become a great illustrator, but i am trying hard to fulfill my child(ish) ambition.

My second gratitude for today falls to Mr. "Not Hyde Fans" for such motivation. Someday i'll show you Hyde's 'true power', at that time no regrets are allowed! Haha XD.

Today i am more likely to spend much time doing Photoshop again ^o^.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

"If I were meant to be an angel, I'll surely be an angel with the black wings.."

Somebody said those words to me when i was on High School. I just found someone who was pretty similar to me. She had same hobbies, interests and even similar way of thinking with me.

We used to talk much about things we liked, figures we adored, and stuffs we were crazy with, and most of the time our surroundings couldn't catch up our deep conversation. It seemed like we have our only world, and nobody is allowed to be inside. (hey, i am still straight, please omit those negative feelings!). And yes, before my graduation, she said those words to me.

I noticed the hidden meaning and poetic senses behind that quotation, but i didn't know what was that. What was the term 'black wings' stands for? And, what 'angel' she did mention there? It still remained in such curiousity at least for me.

I do hope that i can reveal those latent meanings when I ask her. But too late to realize that i might never meet her anymore. She was just missing (or went somewhere unknown ~though i myself cannot explain why~), and leaving those words flow in my mind, with myself keeps grasping the true meaning behind.

~And even until now, i am still waiting to see her again sometime and somewhere~

Friday, November 18, 2005

Cool Stuff =)

~I love anything bishies look-alike~

Just now find Hyde-sama's doll. Glad to realize that this androgynous doll is even more cute than Barbie's and whatever its counterparts. Hyde-sama is strikingly beautiful in his ages, no wonder he becomes the field of inspirations for lots of manga-artists.
Anyway, this is his appearance in 666 album (specifically in Hello PV ~correct me if i wrong~).

Thursday, November 17, 2005

10 Things I hate [about myself]

Some people claimed that scorning your inner (and outer) self all over and over again means you are not grateful enough to the Creator. To all my honorable peers, i have no intention to even think about that. I just want to stun for a moment, and ponder at my sightless future.

1) A proscratinator by nature
Oh well, i even cannot hinder it anymore. I am lazy, too lazy to make any progress in my life. I am 'last minute' person, hated by all my group projects and study mates. So please be careful if you find my name lies on the same list as your project mates' name. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have some tips and tricks to instantly overcome them, please let me now.

2) Sarcastic and Evil
Most people I know comment about my sinister and sarcastic responses when I talk to them. I do that unintentionally. Please do forgive me and understand me for those stupie flaws. Frankly speaking my dear, i just reflect my critical opinion and honest conviction. I am not intend to hurt you =)

3) Unrealistic Daydreamer
I am good at nothing, and all i can do is just dreaming on. Keep saying 'I wanna do that' 'I really can do this', will not really work in real life. Oh yes, i think i'm going insane T_T.

4) I.G.N.O.R.A.N.C.E
"It has nothing to do with me" or "It's none of my business" things keep fullfill my head. It just flows instinctively, though i discover the lousyness and valueless feelings there. Eventually i try to erase them and rewrite my mind with the warmer sensitivity and caring attitude.

5) Excessive Negative Feeling
Those feelings make me sick all over the time. I often judge someone without thinking further. Most of those sensitive thoughts are remarkable by hostile and adverse feelings toward others. I do realize that my prejudice seems silly and groundless though i still cannot bear it. Perhaps this explain why i often feel in such solitude and loneliness.

6) True Bohemian
Wonderful side of me. Bohemian is a term for lazy, pathetic, messy, result-focused, abstract in mind, truly disorganized, and other eccentric traits of Bohemian artists (Da Vinci? Michaelangelo?). I must be proud (or shame?) for this honor.

7) Self Centered Person
Sometimes I always consider anything according to the 'cost-benefit' analysis. If i can gain profit with, then I will do, if it goes vice versa then i will leave. Is it wrong to be that kind of analyzer? I do believe that the world isn't covered with just black and white sides, but also the gray area in between.

8) Weak Hearted-Weak Brained
I indeed cannot bear to drop away my tears when watching touchy films. Most of the times i use my wrecked emotion rather than my logical thought. Sometimes i do misrepresent things when it comes to my sincere feelings, and it certainly becomes my serious mistakes.
Nevertheless i am not saying that i have that 'logic' either T_T.

9) Stupid Defender

No comment. I am very critical about what i believe in life, and thus protect it 'till my last breath and blood (what the &^*%^). Unfortunately, i often defend any unessential thing, which seems to be ridiculous. Again, the stupie side of me.

10) ......
Empty space! I will add later, hehe. Still lots of hatred feeling remain out there XD.

Please do not hesitate to add one. I just want to fix them honestly =). I hope that i can change.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Diving Through Insanity

I lose control
My heart skipping a beat
Touched by a gentle wind,
I look up at heaven

Is it me who losing my mind? Who am I? What am I? It feels like I’ve lost my sense of everything.

I lose control
Going to be shut off
Even you don't recognize that
I'm on the verge of breaking

Yes it is about the time. We are all going to be perished. The die is cast. Though the existence of human being might be both in bliss and sadness, can i just stand motionless in between? I am both doomed and troubled.

Good morning Mr. Fear..

I can't see you Mr. Joy. I can't find you Mr. Smile. Everyday i always knocking on your doors, but all that left behind is just the benevolent Mr. Fear with his hollow smile.

What stimulates me are scars I've lost
I can't even control my arms Ah
A sun that's burning out,
Shadows stained black

Still with my innocent sight, covered with baleful darkness, i run and seek for the truth. Why should we all cry to the light, while darkness surrounds us maliciously? We are diving in insanity, desperately seeking for the truth but find the lies only.

When I noticed this
I laughed

I hopelessly find no end. Forever swaying in the cruelty of life, breathing in the air of vain, it seems like i just can feel nothing. Staying emotionless as always, showing an empty smile at all times, and closing my mind for eternity. Even standing at the abyss of hell but still I am yearning of heaven.

I died then my instinct was born..

Could you give me the light?

**(in red)taken from 'Shinsoku~Loose Control' by L'Arc~en~Ciel

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Shallow Sleep

It was a very calm night when i dreamt about him. More or less about two weeks ago.

I just did my usual things before i slept. Nothing special. Studying like dying, boring like hell. Yeah, nothing stimulated me to imagine any extraordinary things. Afterwards I went to sleep while trying to forget all those damn exam anxieties.

At that point of time in my dream, i see someone running in haste. He wears sun-glasses and sophisticated leather jacket. He is so fair, with the glittered black hair covers his head. It is a rainy, gloomy afternoon, so i don't obviously notice his presence.

Surprisingly, that man comes to me and speaks in his odd accent. He opens his glasses, and i see a pair of gorgeous eyes hidden there. "Err, do you know where to call a cab?"

Firstly i feel a bit suspicious. i don't talk to stranger. But seeing that chaste eyes I straightly escort him to seek for a cab. "I'll call one for you," said I plainly.

Later the cab comes. But instead of saying "thank you" that strange man whispers, "You go with me! Won't you?". His notorious eyes glance at me. And I have no other choice to refuse his favor. Yet i nod deliberately without any single word and follow him enter the cab.

The atmosphere is so cold, and we remain in silence. Finally after a while he speaks to me in a very low voice ~again, with such a funny accent~. He escapes from his work. (what a pity, i comment in mind. so many people lost their jobs, idiot!) Then he takes a deep breath, saying that he finds only emptiness and meaninglessness in his current job. He often feel in such hypocrisy, pretending to be modest and chaste. And those feelings tortured him enormously. In response, i can only smile and tell him how lucky he actually is. I often see him abathed in the spotlight, shining as he is. We talk much, and those conversation is meaningful enough for me in learning about the vagueness of humans' fate, along with their discrepancies.

Okay. Maybe that occassion might not seem so special. But what makes me astonished is, i remember those conversation very clearly. I notice his accent, deep breath, fragrance, altogether with my sense of curiousity when i talk to him. Even I memorize the white sleeveless shirt beyond his leather jacket. Moreover I recall what i wear significantly. It happens to me as if it were real. Too real to be true.

After all, I thank God for giving me that unpredictable sights. Dear readers, surely i'm not that freaky to dream about someone i adore with. I also not that crazy to let the unrealistic mind poisoning my radical thought. It just happens naturally. Lastly i have to admit that i enjoy that pleasure so much =).

He~who comes to my dream~
(Don't laugh u fool! It's not like you think about! It is purely a coincidence!)

And That's all?