All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

(Edgar Allan Poe)

If that's so, now I am questioning my dream.

To go for it, or not to go

To sacrifice the existing in return of a nouvelle lifepath, or stay with the status quo and be it for ever

To start anew, or stuck with the mundane

Okay, I need to do a Risk Assessment, Cost-Benefit Analysis, ROI, Forecasting, Prospecting, you name it, for this portfolio :( *sigh*

Perhaps, the excitement lies on the process of pursuing the dream -and not the dream itself.

But I really thank the Most Merciful, Most Benevolent for this. Thank you.

Why Musics and Lyrics Matter

The past few weeks I've been listening to some corny Indonesian songs for the sake of a bizzare karaoke event preparation. The stock market may plunge, the executives' pay may dip, and the consumers' trust may decline, BUT my spirit for karaoke session won't; hence, 'Makhluk Tuhan Paling Seksi' or 'Buaya Darat' have been in my top list recently. I want to break the record and be a legend ^o^!

bimbotic reminder TT 3 TT

However, mission failed since those corny songs were not even in the list during Karaoke session. Well, perhaps that was a blessing in disguise (since I have no inclination to humiliate myself even more TT 3 TT).

Now I am 'back' to normal mode, listening to more modest J-Songs like Bump of Chicken's and not to mention L'Arc-en-Ciel's. An old song from Laruku called 'Yokan' suddenly grabs my attention, and without further ado, I asked Police Grammar to help me translate the lyrics. Here is what we found :

Yokan (Premonition)

I know how it feels to be melting in the tight embrace of the vast sky
little by little, the wind has began blowing, to where I am

In that spring day you let yourself be carried away by the wind
dancing round and round, softly you disappeared to this same sky

yes, you might have been able to see me
inside the heat haze
now, if only the apparition of your eyes would reflect myself for me

TT__TT

I was speechless.

The song is supremely beautiful and leaves the traces of mystery for the listener. It keeps us think of and visualize the premonition repeated within the songs. I really love this song as the lyrics is damn gorgeous, as if possessing handful of interpretation!

And then, with all the mixed feeling of anxiety and curiousity, with all the humbleness, without all pre-judgement and hard-feeling toward Indonesian music, I tried to translate that Indonesian song that I was fond of recently :

God's Sexiest Being

Your brain sexy
Proven by the way you think of me

Your eyes sexy
Proven by the way you look at me

You are God's being;
the creation
that is the most sexiest

Only you are able to
make me
screaming and screaming

O__o

I jawdropped!!!!!

The second one sounds like a cheap soundtrack of a blue movie (or a horror movie about Sadako-look-alike) -pardon my appraisal. If I were the singer, I will be so embarassed until I commit suicide -I am glad that I didnt sing it during karaoke session. How come I didnt realize the song's meaning while it is actually in the perfect Bahasa Indonesia? Oh ah I think I have lost my tastebud O__o. I am fully conscious of my zero talent in linguistic -so pardon me if I have silly judgement; but I think this is very common sense!

I bear no grudge toward anyone and anything. This is just a random review by a random self-proclaimed music observer. So, yes, thank you for reading *runs*.

Her Other Personalities

For God's sake...

I am just a classy old-fashioned office lady; working with numbers and financial reports and prospects and statistics -in the University. I thought I am pretty conservative and smart enough on not doing stupid things.

The Culprit -could it be, my evil twin???

But these past 2 weeks, a couple of friends reported that they saw a f-ugly girl cosplaying in the Anime Festival Asia'08; with pink overload who is exactly a carbon-copy of me! I am thinking, how can this be happened? As a (seemingly) elegant office lady, I suppose to spend my sunday morning having a cup of latte in the national library, indulging myself with the fabulous collection of books ranging from arts to psychology, finance to literature. But, i mean, this is so surreal. I need to find out who is that other half of me who is menacing enough to destroy my image!

My other doppelganger -behold, they want to burn all the 'sins' in the world!!

Another thing is, other couple of friends mentioned that they saw my other doppelganger dressed up like a frustrated phony preacher who intends to spread the virtues by destroying all the sins and evil in the world -FPI, to make it short. Again, I was wondering that something is really wrong. Do i actually have the evil twin who wants to destroy my Lucy in the sky with diamond-world (who wants to ruin it by the way? It doesnt worth it xD). This is a super big mystery, even bigger than riddles of The Man in the Iron Mask or the Loch Ness mystery.

For the sake of myself, my dignity and my reputation, i'll find out who those counterfeits actually are! (~kupertaruhkan nama baik kakekku xD)

I Spent Money therefore I Live (???)

These past 3 days I’ve been spending a lot. It is still 2 more weeks to the paycheck, but I think I have spent my monthly allowance on the first 2 weeks. I need to punish myself by not taking bus to work (but going by feet instead xD), fasting twice a week and restraining myself from culinary errands –though I wonder whether it works xD.

*major LOL*

I went to a crazy karaoke session on Friday; in purpose to do ‘check-sound’ and familiarize myself with the choice of local songs. We’ll be having a so-called ‘big’ event at the end of November and some "irresponsible" parties have delegated the noble duty onto my shoulders xD. To be really honest, I had so much fun preparing the event, and I hope everybody will feel the same way too ;).

Quantum of Solace : Wild Bond strikes back -_-

Gastronomic tour ^o^

Next day I saw Quantum of Solace with a couple of friends. This is the first Bond movie that I saw in the cinema –I watched the rest of the films on local television. As I don’t have certain expectation towards the movie, I can’t say much. But I think I have developed certain impressions of the preceding Bonds when I saw the classic Bond movies. Bond is supposedly elegant during the firearm combat and supremely classy when he handles commotion; and on the top of that, he becomes so witty when exterminating his foes. Unfortunately I didn’t see those aforementioned traits in this recent Bond movie. I think killing the enemies by doing a relentless (and careless) chasing here and there and causing major destruction to the vicinity is just uncanny and totally uncool. That won’t make a big difference with any run-of-the-mill action movie such as the Bourne trilogy (though I have yet to see those –just my personal opinion). However, this opinion is rather biased because I am not a devoted adherent of Hollywood movies xD.

Today I had a fantastic chore collecting some stuffs for my cosplay costume. The finished and ready to wear costumes really cost me a bomb, so I had no choice but to sew and design that myself. Wish me luck xD.

Apratz and The Short Story Chronicle

Warning : This posting is intended to be an ego-booster; hence please read at your own risk

I thought I am just an individual with a mere passion towards writing but not necessarily equipped with the linguistic talent to write; at least that was what I believe since I was young, that my love towards writing is just one-sided xD.

It was still vivid in my mind when there was a short story assignment for my Literature class during my secondary school. I was so panicky since I was not really into writing. My dictions were all dreadful and the choice of words were in vain –and thing is, I ended up writing a short novella instead of a short story *grin*. The theme was pretty much influenced with the material that I read during that specific period of time –kindly take note that I have yet to know yaoi-related themes at that time, as I was still so pious xD. My first so-called novella is about a physically weak violinist and a precocious little girl who both involved in illegal drug traffic – a super corny romantic story, whatever, but good things often start in a corny way *grin*.

Yes this is a crime story about illegal drug traffic xD

And yes, writing a short story (literally a story that is so short) was a pain in the ass, since I am not used to create a discreet storyline or a fragment of a long story. Though I may be a simpleton, my mind is pretty much tangled and twisted –hence this is the biggest impediment to write myself a short story. I used to complicate a small thing! My long lost friend once said that listening to the lyrics of good songs can induce a decent idea of a storyline, and right now I am still struggling to implement what she said.

To cut a long story short, I joined an online fiction writing class in order to train (and to discipline myself) to write on regular basis. Problem persisted when there was an assignment to write a short story about ‘mother’ with the following objective: “Altering a cliché theme into interesting theme”. I was like being thrown into the bottomless pit of the inferno. What should I write, I shivered. To be really frank, what comes on my mind was the portrayal of a female chimpanzee nursing its baby in the zoo (???). I will self humiliate myself and challenge my sanity in case I really write about that. During numerous presentations and project discussion at work, I kept thinking how to develop a theme about mother that is both ‘cool’ and ‘gruesome’ xD.

Prototype idea : about a chimpanzhee mother T__T

And finally, my accumulated intense hatred and frustration towards certain things have driven me to write about a devoted nun, a virgin-Mary-like, an enchanting beauty with the reddish long hair, a tender-loving-caring mother who has a vampire son being held captive in the underground tunnel of a cathedral *fiendish LOL*. Every night, this poor bloody Mary should feed her son with her own blood in order to prevent him to go outside and do random bloodsucking. To my surprise, I got 99.9/100 mark for this assignment, and the tutor mentioned that he was deeply impressed with the short story. I had tears of joy *sob sob* that finally I was able to create a decent short story xD.

Today I just got news that I won the Lip-Ice short story writing competition as Top Honorable Mention and I am so thankful even though I didn’t win cash prize xD. The short story revolved around gruesome (and incestuous?) love between an angelic handsome priest and his gullible phantom son –yes I know that this is bizarre but I am a bitch for the twisted love story. This has driven me to continue my on-going novel that is already 120 pages long –unfortunately I can’t recall the whole concept of the story as this project has been discontinued since a month ago. I need to sharpen my peculiar way of thinking and not to drag this any longer -_-“. Wish me luck.

And the chronicle is still on-going xD….

P.S.
I lurve gruesome and twisted love story in 2D way (plus it has to be aplenty of bishounens inside); BUT I am an acute haemophobia. Yesterday I just made a fuss at NUS Medical Clinic coz they have medical check up for the staffs –and yes, I saw blood, my blood, during the blood-test. I was so dizzy and powerless after I saw my own blood. When I reached home, I need to spare myself 4 hours nap in order to replace my blood loss… argh!!!

When a bunch of nerds seeking for a new form of entertainment...

... they are not creative enough and easily contented with the cheapest entertainment available. They are all 'home-loving' people, resistant to unnecessary spending and simply happy just to meet up with each other.

Thai-Chinese Food @ Habib

After a decent and modest dinner at Habib (and not to mention the trivial chitchat), they headed back to their secret lair.

And here are what they did :

1) Gaming-Team
They tried every fighting game such as Bleach and Tekken ~it creates thrill by the way...

The Gaming-Team

"I WON!!! I WOON!!!!"

2) Capsa-Team

They played 'Capsa' ~what else can you expect?

they.played.capsa

the piggy played cardgame

3) Football-mania Team

They watched a match between Chelsea and Liverpool ~and that's it

football match -_- (guys are boooring)

4) Independent Team

They simply watch people and got bored very soon *grin*

a pity xD

And yes, we can easily be overjoyed with a super limited budget! xD

When An Idiot Talks about the Leaders....

I strongly believe that the most suitable person on earth to pilot this world into a better place to live was Lelouch Lamperouge; however, since we live in the 3D world and are sane enough to face reality, the argument is -unfortunately- void xD.

But it's not a while ago that I become a loyal adherent for Mr. Ahmadinejad -the current president of Iran- after reading his daily journal. I think of him as the most noble president/world leader alive...

SMA X-Alumni Association Annual General Meeting 2008

not many people coming though :(

After the painful long and winding road; finally Bhro is relieved from his 'noble' duty xD. Congratulations Bhro :)

Sasko & Ainun B'Day @ Spize Rivervalley

mirip pendeklarasian 'Partai Jomblo'

And, Happy B'Day to Ainun and Sasko @ 20 October 2008.

The Girls

Sasko's speech about her obsession to own a private villa in Ubud xD

The food was super duper yummy and not to mention value for money (was it? *grin*), and the prata ice cream was fabulous! Thanks for the treat xD. Had a grotesque chit-chat with Edwin and his little sister pertaining to 'the other realm' -that made me freak out all night; next time please please don't ever trigger a conversation about spooky things at above 9 PM x(.

prata ice-cream (looks like 'Lengan Goreng Asam Manis')

For thou who are not really familiar with the Hawker, its called Spize and located in Rivervalley just nearby The Great World City. Let me know if anybody wants to go; i'll be going too ;).

@#$%^&*())*&^%$$#$#$#@!!!!!!

I am so stressed out lately (and am not emotionally stable). I am a person who'll strive for the best if and only if i follow certain norms and rules; and when those specific guidelines were absent at any circumstance, i'll be totally clueless thus don't know what to do. I really feel like living in the 'Lucy in the sky with diamond'-world x(.

I feel like dying my hair. Any suggestion/comment on what colour to take will be very much appreciated. Muchas Gracias!

Every cloud has a silver lining, deshou?

Last week I was in a deep sh*t; the score didn't meet my expectation. The verbal score was atrocious though the quantitative was just fine. The awful verbal section brought the whole score down. And yesterday, I just received the full report of the score.

I got 5.5/6 for analytical writing-assessment, which means, placed in >80% percentile of the total test takers for the essay *throws confetti*. So it is actually possible to do well on the essay and bomb the verbal section at the same time *sarcasm mode*.

It was quite surprising since my writing skill has been very horrendous -and its no more a clandestine. I failed my Qualifying English Test; then ended up taking 'English Proficiency' classes for two consecutive semesters. When I joined the English Literature Classes -hoping to be conferred a Minor-, my writing assignments had always been butchered with blasphemous comments written on them. I thought my writing skill was pathetic, since most often I didn’t do proofread, I just write what I think without further ado *sniff sniff*.

However, this essay score won’t stop me to cast upon my vendetta against the @$#@$#%$ test. Let’s see how things go, and I’ll decide later =p.

Run Apratz, Run!

Another thing is, my new office is located just in front of the running track! Then there are no reasons for not exercising regularly everyday. This is my post-eid-mubarak resolution: to run at least 4 rounds each time and minimum twice a week. I’ll retrieve the old days spirit and the old body shape *lol*.

P.S. I watched Code Geass R2 : Finale at night before I took the test ;__;. The 'Geass Aftertaste' was so severe that it brings my actual score much lower than my mock tests. But I won't regret that ;__:. I won't....

Demoralised to the Extreme

I just BOMBED my last test, was lethally INJURED, almost SOLD to the black market and being DEVOURED with no traces.

Perhaps the result was not that bad, but I am dissapointed with myself. I took the wrong path with less cautious strategy. I loathe to think that people do have limitation -HELL NO! People are extravagant, complicated creature created by God; with all the perfection and subtlety. Hence, I refuse to believe about the constraint of human being's ability. We can achieve what we really want, and that will depend on the sacrifices that we are willing to make!

~I continue to fight!~

One of the people that I respect the most told me this :

I mean, you can be a super duper dumbass, but you're cool with it. Karena orang2 seperti ini extra-ordinary. Yang ordinary adalah orang yang berusaha terlihat seperti orang pintar =p

Affirmative. I am perhaps an extreme airhead, but at least I am cool. I don't try to be artificial; I am just trying to chill and enjoy everything. I am no genius and never intend to impersonate one; hence I am cool because I am contented with what I am =p.

~Everything is bright...~

Then she ended her speech with this :

Dearest sister. Orang orang seperti kita ini adalah ignorant dreamer. After all apa yang kk bilang bla bla diatas may sound like an excuse. So ignorant about kenyataan sebenarnya. But who cares ? this is our life. We dream. We happily chase it at any cost. We defy all the common sense that getting in its way. We fall 7 x times but get up 8 x times. We live our life to the fullest and dont leave any single regret behind. We are ever-lasting dreamer after all!

That's equally as epic as Oprah Winfrey's speech in Stanford Convocation *grin*. I almost forgot that I am not good at giving up. I have faced aplenty of adverse situations which are worse than this, and still survived. This.is.nothing. This is neither life-threatening nor dead or alive situation. I won't die because of this alone -exception if God has other plan =p. I won't give up! I am now an ignorant dreamer who will eventually upgrade to everlasting dreamer! But I will continuously challenge myself to be not only a dreamer but also an achiever! God is in His heaven; I am consistently pursuing my dream; all is right with the world.

I have dreams and I don't care about the world.

Having said that, I will again DESCEND to the earth to settle my VENDETTA! I'll go and CONQUER that again next December. Behold, the immense power of an avenger! *sounds of thunderbolt* Revenge is a dish best served cold!

Selamat Idul Fitri

1 Syawal 1429 H

Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin

~O' God, please give your mercy
~Coz i never skip reading yaoi-related materials even during Ramadhan
~But deep down inside, i am still very green and pure
~nevertheless i am dead sure that You will somehow understand...
~*sounds of thunderbolt*

The Diary of A Sociable Anti-Social cum Unemployed

Indo-NTU Alumni Gathering @ Marina Mandarin

Superbatch65 Girls

Flatmates^^

Amazed with the splendidly delicious foods by the first class chef ^^. Sadly, not many people that i knew coming.

Neechan's (supposedly) Farewell Party

The thick skinners

Went to a crazy Karaoke session with the bunch of shameless thick skinners. We knew no embarassment! There's no 'shame' word in our dictionary, never! *flip pages*

Movie Marathon in a row

Mamma Mia!

Wall E!

Kurosagi

Watched 4 movies in a week (okay, now i am in total broke) : Hana Yori Dango the movie, Kurosagi the Movie, Wall E and Mamma Mia. Each of them was splendid! Wall E makes me ponder about the future of this world; it's so deep and not to mention scary. Moral of the story : Let's save the world by eating no junk food and exercising, exercising and exercising!

Had a major crush on Yamapi after watching Kurosagi. Yamapi is the epitome of sex! Who can't resist the les miserables bishounen with mysterious aura and the painful past? Right now I am hunting for Kurosagi DVDs and any dorama with Yamapi inside will do!

Turned vivacious after watching Mamma Mia. The movie was so witty and fun to watch! There're a lot of Aunties in the theatre and they started to sing by the time the characters sing -_-". Since we are considered young enough and not really familiar with ABBA songs, we can only name few songs. But overall, the movie was good!

Yixian's Farewell Dinner

Halal Steamboat! coolness!

Tried the halal steamboat along Bugis (no idea where the exact place is). Food was very good, eating until Im ready to puke *grin*.

There're still a lot more... but i am lazy to scrunitize friends' Facebook just to steal the pics.

Moral of the story : Enjoy life to the fullest!

On the Job and Marriage Issue

And i won't wish you luck
Coz i don't think it's luck
I think you have what it takes
So if you get the job, it's not luck
It's you!
Luck found you the job
Anything else from there is your own capabilities

(Quote Yixian in sometime around August'08)

After 100 years waiting in solitude (??), finally they confirmed my placement at the #1 University in Singapore as Research Analyst. Why Research? Coz i am a Research-whore -_-.

Then i need to give up another position at my beloved University as an Assitant Manager -I am so sorry!

I hope everything goes well with the HR process and all, and can start working on the 2nd week of October. Gee, fasting month has shown its tremendeous blessing of virtue T_T. Thank goodness!

On the bad side, I'll be taking TOEFL this coming Sunday at 8.30 AM in Jakarta! WTF I'm still in Lala-land at that time, it's not funny to be overslept at such a critical time -though i always did it. This iBT is fairly different from the previous test, since they have Speaking and Writing section. Good thing is, I love to speak! Bad thing is, I often butcher the language in the writing test *sob sob*. And nervousness sure can kill! Hopefully i am able to accumulate abundance of self confidence by the time i take the test!

I am still screwed at my GMAT. And i can't really sit down and study at home as there will be myriad temptations whatsoever *sob sob*! The reason why i study so hard its because the fee is bloody expensive, and i won't make it a waste by getting mediocre score report *hurhur* though it is also impossible for me to get the astronomically high score -_-. I feel like doing Self Hypnosis to maximize my ability in the Verbal section T__T.

I'll be going back to Jakarta from 26 September - 4 October 2008, so whoever wants to meet up and fool around together let's kick off (nah this is what i called bloody temptation T_T).

Hari Raya is coming, then family gathering is in front of the eyes. I always feel inferior during family gathering especially when relatives touch on the issue of marriage and family building. I mean, sometimes they had a private chat with me, asking about my progress on that 'issue' -which made me speechless all the way. Well, I am still a normal girl, getting infatuated with Hyde or Yamapi and can't resist Japanese hearthrobs *grin*, but i think it's still a long time to go. I don't think at this point of time I am mature enough to share my life with somebody else 'til death - at least not now. Well, let's see how i can handle this and prepare the politically correct answer during the chat *lol*.

To everyone who are fasting, these are the last 10 days of the month, so don't waste it! :D

Apratz’ Top 20 (Recent) Random Facts

- I recently feel like crushing myself to the MRT train, jumping into the railway when the train is coming for the sake of curiosity
- I will then make myself conscious by reciting prayers afterwards (??)
- I am paranoid of blood-spilling (haemophobia?)
- I recently think of putting the corrupt government officials in the chamber of gas so that they’ll undergo a slow and painful death
- I am pretty morbid and sadistic at times
- But in fact, I am no fearless at all
- In 5 years time, I see myself as an academic researcher doing a PhD
- I am not good at giving up
- I often overreact toward everything, and make people annoyed afterwards
- I am an extreme headstrong, who won’t hesitate to pester others
- I think I am the most unromantic person in the world
- I think of Facebook and Friendster as a tool to boost up one’s pseudo self actualization
- I respect people because of intelligence above everything
- My mother said that I am the most insensitive person on earth, and I think that might be true
- I hate it when people being a busybody yet I feel like being one for most of the time
- I love Math and Science subject(s), but am suck at them
- If I strike Toto and win $100,000 the first thing I’d do is giving them for charity
- (yet I am never ever interested in trying Toto)
- I am no culinary adventurer and often end up eating the same thing over again
- I hate it when people show their poker face and fabricate their attitudes –I am a strong believer of ‘be-yourself’ slogan
- I wonder what initiates me to do this –because I think this is stupid -_-“

Emperor Lelouch Owns the World

My beloved Indonesians,

Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love*

Abandon your choice for presidential election
No, forget the presidential election!
Indonesians won't be needing democrazy!
Indonesians will be needing dictatorship!

Let me be your one and all ruler
Let me be your Emperor
Emperor Lelouch thereby ordered you to be my slave!
HAIL ME!
HAIL ME!
~All hail Emperor Lelouch!~

-__-"

I wont be held captive because of treason, WILL I? *run*

Oh okay, i'll back to the cave, be a 'good' Hikikomori and resume my study.

(*Taken from Dante Aligheri's The Divine Comedy)

ANTI-SOCIAL FOR NOW

29th of August marked my last day being a corporate slave. Right now I am officially unemployed.

I need to re-think about everything to re-organize my life, therefore, i'll alienate myself for a shortwhile, being an anti-social, a Hikikomori for the next 1-2 weeks.

Anyway, i got a giant 'thank you' card from my colleagues in my last day. These was written in the envelope :

Dedicated To : A Dreamer, A Japanese Talker, An obsessed anime fan, and a True Human Being

Well, that's 'encouraging' in its own way ^^.

Regards,
Apret
Unemployed
In a search to become a true human being

WTF man, I'm a novel ESTJ?

Your Expression Number is 8

Driven and ambitious, you have the potential to reach great things. You're both good with money and good at getting things done quickly. You are an excellent leader and a great judge of character. Full of energy and confidence, you undertake projects that seem impossible. Dependable and determined, you are able to understand the bigger picture. Even if you are not in a position of power right now, it will fall to you. At times, you can be very materialistic - and obsessed with status and power. While this isn't always a bad thing, you sometimes take it to the extreme. In order to be truly happy, you must balance the material and spiritual in your life.

What's Your Expression Number?

I won't give a damn for fortune reading or numeric chasm whatsoever, but i was fairly shocked when i tried this. It suits my MBTI personality as an ESTJ!

I do believe that people can change -in fact people always change! When i was still in Uni -being a fail student-, my MBTI profile was somehow skewed to ESFJ (a compassionate, caregiver archetype) and depicting sympathetic, warm-hearted and loyal personality *vomit blood*.

As i stepped into a dreadful corporate world, i turn into a very sensible individual, with overt judgement towards something. I used to be very competitive and unsecured over something trivial. I am being quite aggressive and set too high standard of myself -which makes me emotionally drained and blames on myself afterwards. To be honest, i'm getting tired of this. I want my old self to resurrect!

I bought some books about self-help during Jakarta Book Fair about a month ago. The titles revolve around 'finding your success', 'getting back your old self', 'smart and smarter', 'Self Hypnosis', 'Finding your dream', 'Hell at Work' (oops!) et cetera, et cetera. I haven't had time to catch up with everything. I hope I can cover some after i take my bloody GMAT.

PANIC PANIC!!!

My flatmate and I are currently having GMAT-GRE fever. I once discussed with her about GRE vocabularies this afternoon during crazy GMAT-GRE drill in Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Holland Village, and ended up mistakenly referring 'prodigy' as 'pedigree'.

And 'prodigal' as 'prodigy'

And 'officious' as 'spacious office' (dari Hongkong! iya gw tau!)

And 'abhorrent' as 'abhorrer'

T___________T

We are so stressed out until the waiter asked us to leave because the cafe didn't favor people studying and hogging the seat while so many costumers are coming. Bah!

I will be taking GMAT in 6 October 2008. It cost me a bomb so now im broke to the extreme. Total panic!! I hope my brain is usable by the time I have the test.

I AM AN ACUTE NARCISSIST !!!

I had a graduation photoshoot with my hi-school batch who just graduated this year! My Convocation gown has already covered by spider-net and few cockroaches because of the long awaiting! (nay im exaggerating :p).

Esplanade!! Argh hot hot never apply sun-screen lotion -_-"

Gullible 'Angel', heh heh heh XD

His special ability is : Gossiping and taking pics of himself, im just his casualty

'Asal-tapi-koq-jadinya-nyeni' pose

The girls

Im sure that one day if i become a granny, i'll show my grandson these pics ^o^ *corny!*

Anyway, i am looking forward to wear another Convocation gown in the next 2 years; in the different school, different style, different country with more advance 'title'...

I Need Luck! Aplenty of Luck!

I think every debater will bombard me with 'inconsistency' issue when i start blogging about this. But now i really need luck. Aplenty of them. Please cross your finger. I don't want to be penniless for the rest of the months while staying in a foreign country. I am ugly and fat, I've got no body to sell (wtf *lol*).

I have resigned from my current job. Affirmative. Yet i need to find another source of earnings in order to realize the 'next' step in my life. I once claimed that i intend to do academic research or community development (and no longer corporate), but in the past few days, i got chance to attend interviews for an investment banking company (and a public service company). Did i just say that i dont want to do corporate? Well, money is the root of all evil, and money did talk *evil grin*! There goes my consistency...

I know that the feeling of being jobless and penniless isn't really healthy. It'll eventually consume our positivity and self-esteem, especially when being in here, an (in)famous red dot lifeless land. Even thinking about the rise of inflation and the skyrocketing rent fee make me chocked, since the rate of inflation didn't justify with the rate of increment *lol*. Now i sound like i give up being a dreamer and turn into a loyal realist.

So now im crossing finger. I'm certain that He will always give the best (and therefore grant everything we want in just a matter of time).

Talking about positivity...

When im thinking back the old days, i have been bestowed upon countless of luck as well as 'lucky coincidence'. I used to be adventurous and unpredictable yet my carelessness level is Godlike! (Can you imagine, how frustrating the combination could be?) However, i tried to be positive at all times. I keep ensuring myself that everything will be fine, just chill up and enjoy everything even though as if we're standing motionless in the abyss of gehenna.

These are true story about positivity (and not stupidity!!!). Hope it inspires you (the positivity, not the stupidity coz im talking about positivity whatsoever!)

Giant Anchor embodied decisiveness! (actually pic is a bit unrelated -_-)

1) I have mistakenly booked my flight during my Mediterranean-Bohemian Euro trip. That time i was en-route from Thessaloniki, Greece on the way back to Copenhagen. I actually supposed to take connecting flight from Bratislava, Slovakia while i thought that i'll be taking flight from Vienna, Austria. And i just realized my mistake on the D-Day, 4 hours before departure! For God's sake, Slovakia and Austria are two different countries, and I am ALL alone with zero ability to speak in Slovakian or German. Let's say i can reach Bratislava sound and safely but there's still a big chance that i'll miss my flight. The horror images of 'The Hostel' haunted me by the time I reached Bratislava. Will I make it? WILL I? But fortune favors the bold! I am sure that I can make it! And then, yes, i can make it on time...

"I can make it!!" An Imbecile thinking about the future then suddenly haunted castle comes up (??)

2) Due to a mistake in flight booking again (this time it's my friend's), i need to spend 2 days ALL alone in Paris, France. I haven't booked any hostel while in the meantime people said that Paris is not that safe (and on the top of that, I can't speak French nor read map). So i decided to camp in Charles-de-Gaulle airport! My parents worried like mad, but hey this is the flame of youth! This is the essence of travelling! And in the end, equipped with amazingly dense-positivity i am still surviving without experiencing any pickpocket or whatsoever. Positive, positive and positive always!

Yes i dont want to leave this place but that doesnt mean that im okay with missing my flight T_T

3) On the way back to Singapore from Copenhagen, i ran to the wrong flight gate. Instead of running to British Airways -my actual flight, I bumped into Scandinavian Airlines and almost board the wrong flight and missed chances to go back to Singapore again. But then again, I kept telling myself that I will REACH Singapore for certain no matter what happens *the fire of youth starts igniting*. My actual flight was delayed so I can make it on time. Yes, it was a miracle, and i do believe that being positive is one of the key factor to reinforce it.

4) Et cetera et cetera.

I know that I cannot always effortlessly depend on luck and no others; but in fact i think i always do 'something' to reinforce that luck; I put extra effort like mad and pray like mad and being positive and confident like mad also. So here is the formula :

Luck = Effort + Prayer + Positivity

And it is absolute form of equation and cannot go on the way round! Thus you can't change that into this :

Luck - Positivity = Effort + Prayer

Or this :

Luck - Positivity - Prayer = Effort

Thats epic FAIL!!

After going through the dark tunnel, you'll encounter a very blue sky! ^o^

Hence, for you who already read this up to this point, i am not writing crap anymore. This is serious post even though the way i write is bimbotic (it has been always like that, I wonder). Let the luck emerges perpetually in our life, by doing non-stop effort, praying and being positive!

NTU 2008 Batch Convocation Day

Congratulations to all 2008 graduates!

Initially I intend to apply for 1 day leave just to attend Convocation Day on Friday the whole day, but I was engaged to a deadline at work. In the end, I only managed to catch the event for Civil & Environmental Engineering and no others.

'Sister' cum 'Yaoi-fangirl-in-crime' oopsie XD

Therefore, I was very sorry for all 2008 batch who happened to read this :(.

Gossip Girls : the idiot-PhD student-pretty financial analyst

Civil & Environmental Engineering Graduates plus wtf guests XD

Superbatch65 Members

Graduation day has always been a vivacious and memorable moment for me even though I am not the one who graduated. Thinking back the old times, 1 year has passed since my graduation day back then in 2007. For me, graduation day is meant to be a commemoration day to acknowledge that we are officially considered as an adult. It’s a new beginning to re-enter the world with a different perspective, wish and expectation….

But did Lelouch just say in the Code Geass 1 episode Finale that in the world of adult, righteousness is priceless?

I am an adult. We are adults! However, I do hope that we are still being righteous (or morally right in that sense) –even though we are all adults.

~basically this is just a random crap -_-; it’s a pity that you still continue reading XD
~~special thanks to yud1 who noticed the typo XD

From Jakarta with Nu-Haircut and Random Things

Dear Honorable Readers,

Apology for a delay in responding to your comments; as I was in Jakarta last week with limited access to internet connection. History is repeating, I had an awful haircut. This time it is Yzak’s wannabe T__T.

Maybe i should dye my hair gray and cosplay as Yzak T_T

So what I did during holiday?
- Relay Code Geass season 1
- Relay Gundam 00
- Relay Gundam Seed
- Watch ‘Nobuta wo Produce’
- Watch corrupted government officials in corruption trials
- Watch news of murders, senseless killing, death penalty
- Watch news about the energy crisis the earth is facing nowadays

And suddenly, I promised myself to save the world and make it a better place to live! Applause?

Okay, that’s corny. But perhaps those things have more or less influenced me with the decision I’m currently holding on : to quit my job :).

Truth is on the march, nothing can stop it

“Do you know why I said that to you? I challenge your thoughts!”
“No, you can’t. I’m using my ‘heart’ now.”

I have officially tendered my resignation letter yesterday.

People might think that I am crazy, but I can no longer lie to myself. I often used my brain to choose or determine something, but now I solely listened to my heart. Even though it’s a zero-sum game, I have no regret and I won’t turn back. Life is so short; and don’t make it a waste by doing things we don’t really like.

It sounds super naïve and childish. I know, but devil may care since I considered myself as a conscious working adult and responsible human-being. It’s time to make maneuver in life, do a soul-searching while enjoy life to the fullest. If I don’t get pay by working on something I really like, why don’t I find a way to make earnings?

So what am I going to do next? I got thousands of plans in mind. I won’t let myself get bored and be in despair again. Wish me luck!

Singapore Toy and Comic Convention : Suntec City, 27-29 June 2008

I managed to catch this event! Even though I didn’t have much time to look around, I have fulfilled my primary purpose : to pose with some cosplayers and take pictures.

Gintama?

SD Gundam Force!

Haruhi Suzumiya! Kawaiiiiiiiii!!!

Kaoru/Hikaru Hitachiin? Kakkoiiiii!

Metal Gear Solid?

this is gosh-darn cute!

these androginy dolls cost a bomb T_T

It was unfortunate that I am in rush, otherwise I can spend couple of hours fooling around in the convention! I really want to browse around some cool booths of local artists as they are really inspiring :)