I didnt mean to abandon the blog, just that the overwhelming presence of Facebook, Twitter and the such had impeded me to write in this medium.

Anyway, my old computer in which i kept my shitty arts has long been dead. I coincidentally stumbled upon an old art, made when i was still in-between job in Singapore. It is a pity that i couldnt do any kind of graphic design in my brand new HP mini 2133, since the processor's performance is tad too weak. Maybe it is the right time to sharpen my manual skill in arts.

I am artistically productive when I have nothing to do x(

* Speaking of psychological framework, this post is a form of self-denial. My scattered brain is no longer able to digest any rigorous academic paper nor write a proposal with scientific approach, hence the post :(

** I once promised myself to enroll to a part-time diploma program in manga-writing or animation design when I reach Japan. I am in Tokyo now and still have to postpone the plan until-God-knows-when :(.

Jakarta: an unspoken truth

Jakarta regional authority budgets a 28-billion rupiah custom house for the Vice Governor, claiming that the amount is reasonably cheap for a Vice-Governor level. The Vice Governor too, supports this decision, stating that the house's strategic location would help him to work closer with the Governor on a daily basis.

source: detiknews

At the same time, displacement happened in Cengkareng, West of Jakarta. The picture envisaged a child trying to find his pencil for school tommorow. This is just a random displacement captured by media, there are still numerous displacements happen beyond media attention.

source: detikfoto

Could we at least reduce this hypocrisy please?

Okay, i admit that im so stressed out in the midst of exam fever, hence the changes in layout.

We need positivity!

Other adjustments will be carried out after i am done with this whole damned thing. BANZAI!!!

Ready Steady give me good luck!!!!

Goodluck charm @ Kiyomizudera Kyoto

Yeah i need good luck. I am on exam fever TT___TT

Ponder

As a woman, do I lack of emotions? :S

As an individual, I believe that I am pretty meticulous…

… except during exam period, where books and papers are simply everywhere. I did that on purpose to ignite my passion to study! Sadly that attempt was a total futile, as that disorganized chaos has turned me off. In the end I procrastinate a lot and feel like doing nothing!

BAHHH!! CHAOS!!

Anyway, I abhor examination but I heart papers, written assignments and presentation. The feeling of working on the written exam embodies the feeling of being locked inside a chamber of gas, waiting for a slow and painful death *sobs*. That explained why I have never prevailed in written examinations, and I am glad that I only have papers left for this semester.

And my paper revolved around Russia and its central Europe communist allies in an effort to pursue financial liberalization during perestroika and glasnost period. It was really complicated that I’ve regretted to choose that topic. Moreover, I feel my writing skill pretty much deteriorating lately, as I found it hard to choose the right words (dictions) to convey deeper meaning on the issues. And that counted to double work!

ex-East Germany`s Berlin Wall

It is just recently that I fancy the old Marxism-Stalinism’s centrally-planned economy. I believe that the ultimate goals of this is to foster equality and prosperity for the people –but the external factors such as global integration prevents them to do so! Two years ago, I travelled to Bratislava and Prague, and couldn’t help to ponder about the fallacy of socialism. At that time I had a limited knowledge about this, so I couldn’t appreciate the history as much as I did now. I am really keen to revisit Central Europe’s post communist countries with sufficient information in hand, and that will be my next travel plan. The question is how to get the money…

Random corner @ Bratislava. Creepy ne? ;____;

But before that, I have to finish this paper! No more sleep for the next 6 hours!

'Ekonomi Kerakyatan', 'Ekonomi Pro-Rakyat'; what was that again?

Disclaimer: Just an argumentative prose from a struggling Kenkyuusei, with no means to offend certain someones or certain things.

Presidential election is crawling nearer, and media recently is just too overwhelmed by a bandwagon war; between Neo-liberalism and State-owned based Economy or 'Ekonomi Kerakyatan' (pardon the mismatch, as i couldnt find any better translation).

So what was this 'Ekonomi Pro Rakyat' or 'Ekonomi Kerakyatan' again?

If 'Ekonomi Pro Rakyat' is meant to give a total liberty for a state-owned enterprise to run a business for the sake of topping the economic welfare, total nationalization of the economy will leave a limited role for private saving, and imply a serious restrictions on private economic activity.

This will consequently result in huge structural distortion, remarked by the presence of monopolization, olygarchy system, economic autarchy and centralized investment decision. The economy will strongly be exposed to domestic-oriented market, sooner or later be separated from other market by international currency inconvertability, trade restrictions and moreover, encourage state monopoly in foreign trade.

The burden of social spending in the name of fair wealth distribution will be astronomically high, relative to the level of economic development. Government should offset the big expenditure mainly by domestic production, as foreign trade is being restricted. On the latter part, the state's budget deficit will be very large, and government will employ monetary expansion to cover the deficit, mainly by increasing money supply which will lead to an increase in inflation. Well, my dear, this is again, the prelude of a crisis!

This -infact- was what happened to Russia pre-Perestroika years.

So are we going to re-employ plausible system that is already proven to be wrong? :)

I believe that Indonesians are smart enough on not to make a wrong move again; to be trapped in a misleading jargon called the 'Ekonomi Kerakyatan' or 'Ekonomi Pro-Rakyat'.

Open Letter From A Hardcore Boediono Fan

For those pompous opportunists who accused Boediono with the stupid jargon called 'Neo-liberalism', I would like to ask Thou the following:

1) Indonesia's foreign debt management's history since its first time de-regulation economic policy in 1971
2) Indonesia's trade balance performance eversince
3) Indonesia's composition of current account deficit since the financial liberalization in 1983
4) Indonesia's sound monetary and fiscal policy prior to Asian Financial Crisis in 1997
5) How would you define crony capitalism (in fact this is the main culprit of the massive external debt phenomenon)
6) Outline of Indonesia's Letter of Intent to IMF by Mar'ie Mohammad in 1997

If thou could answer the above without citing textbooks or wikipedia, and made a great presentation over them, I will whole-heartedly respect thou and re-think my stance for Mr Boediono (lies)

Yours Sincerely,

Evidence

What do you need, in order to prove that you are more capable than others?

I would say, credentials....

As a strong believer of meritocracy, I won't admit a person to have a native level of English unless he could bring a perfect TOEFL/IELTS score as an evidence; to be capable of reading 1000 kanjis, unless he could bring a JLPT level 2 certificate; to have an expert level of monetary economics unless he graduated with Masters/Doctorate level in Economics.

Having said that, If I were to choose a leader, I will choose those with accountable credentials, such as good track records or outstanding achievements in their fields. I would choose those who are proven to be better than I am. Show me your resume, prove it, and there you have my respects :).

And as long as I am still sane, I won't admit under-achieved leader candidates with no academic credentials. I am a scholar, and I won't chose any leader with no scholastic ability! How come you believe on someone with less capability than you are -using a credential as an indicator.

There are so many intellegent people being a Public Relation for that mentioned candidate, and I couldnt help but to think that they made a stupid move. I would say it is like a college student choosing a secondary school student to be a president for their Student Union.

Isnt it stupid?

I guess Indonesia's political situation is hard to fit the common sense though. I hope it's really a common sense, and not just my self-proclaimed-know-it-all-sense.

Ndeso

I just noticed that I could do this with my cell phone.

Ju On mode

AWESOME!!! SUGOI!! YEAHH!!! (ndeso)

Frankly speaking, I am a cell-phonelogy inept. My predecessor cell-phones have only been equipped with basic functions such as calling and sms (and sometimes camera), as I wont give a damn with trying something new and hip.

But even though my current phone is the cheapest of all, it still can manage to do things that put me in an awe. I love Japan and its technology.

Got this from Anna. Thank you very much. It was really an inspiring speech :).

Quoted NTU Computer Engineering Club President, Xiao Yuhong:

"When you are choosing a university or a major, instead of worrying about the distance you have to get to campus, or the rank of the university, or whether people will hire you after you graduate, you should concern more about this:

Think about what kind of person you want to be upon your graduation, then think about whether your choice of university and major enable you to be the person you want to become."

I am a Business graduate from Nanyang Business School. I am thankful for all the experiences, as it made me who I am today. But i would never conform with the framework they promote the graduates, for everybody to climb on the corporate ladders, and to be a highly paid top executive with so many zero digits on the monthly payslip and work and work from 9 to 5 everyday even sometimes during weekend. I didnt say that it is morally wrong, in fact I really show high respect for those who could manage that highly maintained life (because I couldn't). I took a Bachelor Degree not to be a corporate slave, as that is not the end of my journey, and not the whole purpose of my life. I dont want to work when everybody said I should. Nobody could feed themselves if they do not work full time, i do understand that. I think some people feel the same with me too.

But here is one thing, if you want to break-free, be optimist! Be a risk averse person. In a stockmarket, those assets with high risk could probably produce a high return of investment. The question is How? The truth is there, the fact is here, problem lies on how to play the card, you had in hand. How to manage the highly risky investment into an astronomically profitable one? It is the same thing with life. The more risky decision you have, the more effort you put into it, the sweeter the reward you would get in the future. And remember, reward is not only tangible, but also intangible. Everyone should play their own card, but not all the game is beautifully played ;).

If the first attempt failed, dream big and try again! Don't complain, just work harder; as the time we spend whinning would not make us get closer to our ultimate goal. Time is finite -and there's no turning back-, thus more precious than any gold, hence spend it wisely. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Do your best to reinforce the luck. Always endeavor to put the best on everything, as you wont know when the opportunity would come. Don't obsess on what people think and don't take yourself seriously -coz nobody does. Think positive, open yourself, be honest. Afterall, we are just a mere powerless human being who needs help from others. Always know where we are, and never give up.

If all else fail, praise yourself who have undergone such hardwork, be proud of it, thank the God, dream big, and try again! Dont complain, just work harder. And everything would be the same with the previous paragraph. Even though you didnt get everything in the end, please believe that you have successfully developed your personal growth, and that is an intangible asset. You have reached higher level of maturity and survival skill from what you are before, so it is not a zero sum game. Congratulations on gorgeously playing the card game :).

Finale, I would like to congratulate all NTU graduating class of 2009. Congratulations on reaching another important leap in life. There are so many things that await you outside, so let's play the game :).

"Anata no yume wa, nan desu ka?"

I am recently turning Sho Sakurai's obsessed fangirl after watching The Quiz Show, and craving for the weekly dose of HonmaxKamiyama. Despite the slight BL aura, its worth watching. So i do recommend you to check that out xD. And the tagline of the dorama is the above, "What is your dream?" (it sounds less cooler with the English translation, bah)

Anyway, one of my dream is not just to be able to read the original Japanese manga, but also to own it. Lucky that the cheap second-hand bookstore is everywhere here, and the prices are amazingly cheap. Last wednesday i went to one at Akihabara, and found X manga for 53 yen EACH! I bought like 16 volumes at once. Now the problem lies on my atrocious Kanjis and how to swiftly improve it xD.

mountainous manga vs few textbooks LOL

And believe it or not, i went to Meido Cafe afterwards. I MUST BE CRAZY AND CANT STOP TO THINK HOW COME I ENDED UP BEING THERE. Well, Francois, a Canadian guy, asked me to go with him. We stayed with the same Host Family, and that's how i managed to know him. We went to @homecafe, the most famous meido-cafe at Akiba. The feeling of going to that place is just so wrong but i think everybody would enjoy it. At first the Meido would ask you to choose the menu, and talked with superlatively cute voice and motion (and thats called 'moe'?). Then when the food comes, they will again do the same manouevre and ask us to follow their 'moe' gestures before tasting the food. Oh i guess i have to lock myself at the library until 9PM everyday to redeem my sins TT__TT.

How to win an interview?

The answer is Be Yourself.

What a cliché! We all love cliché nonetheless! Superhero movies teach eclectic stories about good and bad deeds, and that happens for centuries. Bollywood movies depict hilarious cliché of abundance out-of-place rain and trees, and that still sells. Cliché represents mainstream and majority, hence the 95% significance! Cliche's voice is people's voice hence God's voice! (baka)

Most of the time I always win an interview, and its no lie! Be it a job interview, a committee interview, or any random interview. Though I must say that not everything ended up successfully, at least I still think I managed to impress the interviewer. During my undergraduate studies, I attended every career workshop held by the schools, and got advices on how to dress up and win from head to toe. Everything works out in theoretical way, starting from the style of handshake, how many accessories acceptable for wearing a suite, how appropriate the distance when facing the interviewer, how to dress up in formal suite for a specific hair/skin/body shape. In the end I became pretty much exhausted and do it on my way instead.

Lets think about it, imagine, an interviewer facing a bunch of job hunter with same attitudes and styles, same color of suites, same speaking tone, same body language, same hairstyle and makeups. I really pity the HR and the bosses out there, as they will face the same doppelganger over and over again.

I didn't say that my grades are on the top, or my English is so superb that I could sway the interviewers, or my leadership capability is so exceptional that I could run as a candidate presidency :p. Hell NO, its just a super average Jane we talked about, with mediocre brainpower and run-of-the-mill leadership skill plus legendary messiness. But one thing is that, I would always try to be honest, and be myself, no matter what the situation is. Who need a straight A student with rocket science capability, if she or he cannot work in a team, or cannot cope with stress? People will need those who can trust others, can delegate tasks to others, and can work with others. Image and first impression are a crucial importance and its an absolute 'Yes'. However, in the end, its 'You' that matters the most! Lets cross check with HR people (and pardon me if I made the wrong perception. I am no HR afterall xD).

And its just last week that I got my first time coldsweat before attending a scholarship interview (I have never had this feeling before). This was different, the interview is conducted in Japanese, and I just learnt Japanese for 1 month. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, HOW COME I ATTEND AN INTERVIEW WHILE I HAVENT EVEN DONE THE ORAL TEST???? well anyway, the Vice President himself will come and see me. While I am sure that I will successfully butcher the language, this is my last attempt:
1. Try to talk 100% in Japanese no matter how atrocious the speech would be
2. Write myself a 4 pages CV in Japanese and MEMORIZE it before the interview
3. Jot a possible Q&A for interview, and again, MEMORIZE it
4. Smile and be honest xD
5. Recite prayers inside, and believe that God will help ;___;

It was due to God's benevolence that I managed to secure the scholarship last Monday. This has been a good lesson for me, that #4 and #5 work out better than #1-3. Though I might say that impression does count, but whats more important is your inner rich and personality. And I would testify that :).

And I sincerely thank God, and Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation, for having faith on me.

Need Help

Anyway, I am currently working on a research proposal about pegged-currency (and floating currency system) across both western and eastern hemisphere, as a way to minimize the impact of currency crisis in the future. I am still a newbie into this field, so if anyone read this and is willing to help, please tell me any good books that talks about the above.

I know that Krugman's the Return of Depression Economics as well as Greenspan's Age of Turbulence are pretty good, but its not too scholarly written. I need the more technical one, but it has to be pretty recently written. Oshiete kudasai! (_ _)

Do (Not) Judge Book From Its Cover

During golden week my hosuto fam went to Tohoku for Holiday. They intend to drag me along, but honestly i was too tired of traveling due to the latest Kansai trip as well as the crazy workload that I must finish. I stayed at a friend's apato around Chiba. She was an ASEAN Scholar in Singapore, and went to Japan with Monbusho scholarship. On the late night casual chit chat, she mentioned about how Singaporeans dress up is way too casual. They won't spend much effort on outer appearance as they are already contented (and confident?) of what they are.

While, again, hasty generalization sometimes misleads, I second this. I think of Singapore as the land of meritocracy. As long as you have what it takes, images won't be that important anymore. If you are smart, people wouldn't dare to badmouth you. People respect you because you do have something intangible to be proud of. I might be wrong, but this is what i perceive. And this is what i praise from Singapore. When I was in Singapore, I always wear bermuda, school's T-Shirt and not to mention slippers everywhere. This habit starts during my Undergraduate studies, whereby a technological university is (in)famous of having the most number of students dress up too casually as they dont really care. Despite being a business student -who supposedly dress up glamorously-, other students often perceive me being Engineering student xD (so i look that smart huh? LOL). But some problems persist when I went back to Indonesia. I still dressed up that way -as its damn comfy and i cant deny-, even when I went to saloon, shopping malls, and hospitals xD.

Gembel! Rasanya pol banget xD

One time during my break, I had fallen ill and went to a nearby hospital. As a courtesy to the patients, Doctor sometimes involved in a casual conversation. In my case, it went up like this:

Doctor: Are you a high school student? College student?
Me: Nay. I am working now.
Doctor: (disbelief) oh... where do you work?
Me: err... Singapore.
Doctor: Maid? Domestic Helper?
Me: ..... (speechless) er no, I am an Analyst
Doctor: huh?
Me: (grin)
Doctor: (still in disbelief) but you work in Singapore, so I assume you must be a domestic helper!
Me: =___=

Same thing happened when I cut my hair at the saloon. And I was once being perceived as a maid too, when I arrive at the airport.Bah, whats wrong with people? Or is it whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with all the ugly bermudas and casual school's T-Shirts? Well, i cant deny being a slave/maid/helper, as a matter of fact, i do help my boss working on projects right? ;___; Still, I do hope that people stop underestimate others just by looking at their outer appearance -this is one of Indonesian's pittfalls, they care MUCH about images. They are far from being a civil society (hasty generalization rules! xD). No matter how lowlife I am, If i dress in Armani suites, people will gasp when glancing at me! No matter how much god-forsaken debt i have, if wear lavish jewellry and go to country club often, people will respect me. So its easy to buy respect afterall? xD

Tokyo! Mantan Yakuza

But now that I am in Tokyo, my fashion sense do improve radically. I feel like there's an obligation to dress up, even though I dont know why (peer pressure?), especially during blooming spring, when the atmosphere turns out very sweet and pretty with sakuras everywhere. I suppose it's because people here dress up very well, so it does have a positive impact on my side.

Nonetheless, the weather is getting warmer pretty recently. During summer, I think my old habit would come to emerge naturally, with super casual dress such as slippers, school's T-shirts, and bermudas xD. O' Summertime, please come soon, I really miss my slippers!

(Rizaldi asked me to record a travel journal while in Japan, so here comes xD. Rizaldi you better read coz I have spent my opportunity cost writing this stupid journal xD)

To Live is To Travel, quoted HC Andersen....

.... but it was not necessarily applicable towards certain people, particularly a first semester Kenkyusei/Daigakuinsei who just starts the semester, and feels like dying.

Sakuras at Tokodai

Gosh, I think Japanese is the hardest language EVER! I have committed more than 4 hours a day just to learn Japanese (2 hours everyday during the intensive class, and at least another 2 hours at night to catch up the materials). This misfortune happened after I took the Japanese Placement Test. I had no idea of what I have done to the answer sheet, but the result shows that I got the class which pre-requisite is to have mastered more than 200 kanjis. WTH! (Pardon my bad bad bad English, coz i feel that my English is zettai gradually deterioriating in here. Eh, zettai is not an English word? whatever.. iro iro kotoba wa shikatanai yo). In fact, i never really study Japanese before, coz I am easily bored and just quit impulsively (I am infamous of being restless, in terms of moving prematurely toward other commitments without really finishing the previous).

I am zombified everyday. I study until very late, say 3-4 AM, and then wake up early morning to catch the superuber crowded morning train, and thats quite a turn off. I want to scream out of loud "HEY I AM DAMN TIRED, GIVE ME YOUR F***ING SEAT!!!!" but thank goodness am sane enough not to do that -coz I dont think that people do understand English anyway. This is just my third week and I feel like I study for the exam everyday. In fact, I am always in Trans-Am/SeeD/Trance/Sage mode, and wondering if i will be easily burnt out in the latter time.

But...

A couple of really good friends, my nakama, went to Japan for holiday, and I cant resist the temptation to travel together. HC Andersen is damn right, To Live is To Travel! I have to travel in order to live (Obaka!) Consequently, I missed my 3 Japanese and 1 International Econs Class, and now I feel like devour people coz I have to catch up for so many things. Nevermind, Golden Week is coming and I will use my time wisely. I promise. Hopefully xD....

In a nutshell, we covered greater Tokyo, Nara, Osaka and Kyoto. Here comes the brief report...

Tokyo

Asakusa, Kaminari-Mon

Ueno Park, Eki Mae

Asakusa inside

Went to Asakusa and Ueno Park before heading to Akihabara. Asakusa looks like Japaneses Chinatown for me *grin*, while Ueno, being attractive of its shrines and park, is not really interesting without the overwhelming Sakuras.

Akihabara is still my most anticipated destination. I bought 3 BL mangas for 100 yen each (Obaka Obaka Obaka, Setsuyaku jyanai yo!), and found superduper cheap Gundams (1000 yen only for Athrun's Justice 1/100 scale! And 100 yen for Exia and Friends 1/144 scale!). Graaah, I hate of being bimbo! I have to hurry find out the part time jobs!

Shinjuku

Kabukicho!!! LOL

Went to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night. Spotted an interesting nightlife at Kabukicho (plentiful of hosuto kurabu LOL!!!!). Lucky that I read Tokyo Babylon before coming, coz CLAMP's vivid depiction of Tokyo is almost precise. Tokyo is all about modernity and ancient at the same time, whereby the modernized citizens still take out various superstitions.

Venice Doppelganger

???

Disney Sea tengah2

NAKAMA POSE!!!! YEAH!!! (One Piece Reference)

Spent a day at Disneysea, which reminded me of Epcot at Florida, USA. Fooling around with deadly rollercoasters and thrilling attractions such as Tower of Terror, Journey to the Centre of the Earth, Indiana Jones, et cetera, et cetera.

Kyoto

The day after i rushed for classes, I had a test before taking Shinkansen to Kyoto (bah, what a bad bad bad Daigakuinsei I am). Kyoto is reaaaaaaaly pretty, especially if thou art fond of ancient Japan; mentions samurais, wars, temples, shrines, onmyoujis, geishas and all (abundance of depiction at the mangas).

Awww Beautiful Geisha

Ryan D'Massiv?

Mesmerised by Gion area in Kyoto, a place whereby so many geishas are still existed. I feel like being brought back to the ancient Japan and enter the PeaceMaker Kurogane's world (or mention any other similar manga in here).

Inari Jinja... I liiiike

Kyoto Eki

Small shrine at Kiyomizudera

Inari Jinja

Next day, run to the Kiyomizudera as well as Inari temple. GOSH THEY ARE SO DAMN PRETTY!! Nevertheless, I found Inari Jinja more appealing due to its tranquil environment, unlike Kiyomizudera that is so touristy.

ONMYOUJI!!!???

Kiyomizu

Inari Jinjaaaa

Nara

Contemplating... gosh life is so tough yet here I am fooling around

New nakama: Tony Chopper

Have no idea why we ended up being in Nara. Reason being is because our two Oniichans are the big fan of Lucky Star and intend to run a weird errand: do the Lucky Star pilgrimage at Nara (whereby Konata CS went for a study trip to Nara).

Lucky Star pose!! LOL

freak Onii-chamas

Nara's mocchi is the best mocchi i have ever tried! And a lot of maccha flavor tidbits could easily be found around Kyoto-Osaka. Tanoshikatta!!!

Osaka

Osaka Castle

keren deh, LOL

One word for Osaka is, unique! The people, the food, and the culture. Osaka is the place for having fun! We covered just Osaka Castle and Denden Town.

Tried Okonomiyaki, Yakisoba as well as Takoyaki in here. SO DELICIOUS! Had a great time too listen to Osaka-ben (Osaka's accent everywhere LOL). And, Osaka is real Osaka with a Karaoke session -and this is where the unfortunate event began.

Takoyaki hunting

Dotonburi

Had a crazy Karaoke session, sing plentiful of Anime and Japanese songs (GOSH I AM SO DAMN HAPPY!), ranging from GReeeeN, Orange Range, One Piece's Crazy Rainbow Star, ARASHI's, Naruto's, Code Geass', Gundam's to AKB48 =___=. But, we missed out the last train to Kyoto and had to spend a night as vagrants! Hostel or Hotel are so expensive that we choose not to opt for it, and finally we went to Manga Kissa to wait until morning to catch the earliest train.

And so, my dearest Nakamas went back to Singapore and Indonesia last Sunday. And i feel like those fun we had are just fatamorgana (SOBS!!!!). I have to deal with the reality: crazy workload and tough life. Zettai sabishii desu kedo, GANBARU YO!

Oh sh*t, its already 1 past and I have to prepare for today's classes. GRAH i need another holiday (Obaka-sama, please die).

A Quick Note, For Now...

I loathe it when my mother talked to me pertaining to marriage issue...

While hasty generalization sometimes misleads, I personally thought that most ladies perceive marriage until certain point they become a bride -and doesnt really take into account that life must go on after the fairy tale like-wedding, and it will be tough. Reality bites!

Parents, most of them, wish for their kids to be the creme de la creme of the society, especially girls, to be princesses, that own everything from head to toe: from lavish crown to fancy gowns. From stable job and perfect soon-to-be spouse. As if education and physical attractions are not enough, they demand status.

As for me, I am not a realistically ambitious person yet not a strong believer of status either. I just want to be happy and make an endeavor to do the best (and not to be the best -there is a difference!). Why fight for status when it doesnt make a single bit of happiness? Why follow what society thinks while you yourself take all the impossible burden. We are humans, not Hercules who could accept the divine 12 godly tasks. We just want to be happy, ne?

I left my stable job up there, get out from my comfort zone, and make myself blindfolded of all the expectations i could never fulfill. I descend to the land where everything is still uncertain, but I am sure that I will be fine! The mantra is "i dont care, as long as I am happy!". Dont force me to "catch" a random guy, appear as if I am ready to settle down, make an effort to be domesticated, while I am not the one suitable for that role -for now! The difference between mature and childish is: responsibility. As long as we are responsible of our life, and not being a burden to others, that is called an adult! And an adult, could really do everything they wish for, because they are likely to be responsible of their own mess!

Currently, I have never put myself in this situation before. I really DO struggle, academically and financially -and i cant think of anything besides those two. Language issue is my biggest impediment (i never thought that it will be this hard), and secondly, the people. People in my cohort are really the top of the top, both academically and socially. They are both future leader and academicst, party goers who also spend their weekend reading papers. I feel like an insignificant dust over here xD.

Nevertheless, i enjoy the feeling, no, I am grateful for this feeling. We are alive when we are struggling to live :). And after I succeed to conquer all these, I believe that I alone could survive nuclear ;)

Holy Scythe!!! I mistakenly erased my Bandung trip pictures ;__;

I went to Bandung during the long long weekend in the beginning of March, and catched up with some old-friends. We were so outspoken during online encounter, but why it felt so awkward when we met in person?

.....

Lie xD

It only happenned in a minute, the next second, the chemistry came to emerge pretty easily *LOL*

Having said that, I don't think that a digital encounter could deprive a real-life rendezvous!

Sinar Penghancur!!! *pip pip pip*

To my dearest Agent:

I NOT STUPID!!!! -Error in purpose, don't bombard me

AND YOU ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC AND CRAFTY PERSON I'VE EVER MET!!!!

I read Business Law for one semester, and it went well even for a college freshman. Despite the atrocious English speech, i was a debater too! Don't ever mess around with me with all the bullshits, foxy schemes and fake assumptions, as I am ready anytime to take you down at the court!

On the more constructive note, please furnish your English so as to comprehend the law terms!

On NTU-stabbing frenzy

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/412450/1/.html

My deepest condolences to David. Hope he rest in peace.

It was around 3 PM when NTU’s President Su Guaning sent email to NTU Community, brought up the concern courteously, referred to such incident as ‘tragic accident’, and consecutively utilized well-mannered dictions as follow: ‘fell of’ instead of ‘jumped’, ‘attacked’ instead of ‘stabbed’, et cetera et cetera. The way he brought up the issues is so noble until I really saw it as a tragedy instead of crime! And he said that NTU will formally pronounce the name of the student right after they have face-to-face meeting with the parents. It is a courteous gesture to respect both the family members as well as the closest friends of David! That’s a decent speech from a dignified man for you .

On the other hand, I am very pissed off toward the shameless and uncivilized Indonesian media such as detiknews.com. They overtly publicized what they shouldn’t, despite the due diligence of press –I wonder if it’s existed in Indonesia though. Detiknews publicized the name before the chronicle is formally announced, as well as openly wrote about the incident over and over (please refer to Indonesia’s cheap celebrity gossip webpage, they wrote it that way). Is that how they supposed to treat their countrymen? Despite the actual facts or the timeliness, I still think that it can potentially create a blunder (as Detiknews is infamously known for) since they write something still doubtful. In the end I found the news became pretty much biased, judgmental and opinionated. Not to mention some harsh commentaries from fellow Indonesians as follow:

1. “C’mon, it’s just NTU, not Cambridge or MIT or Harvard. What do you think if he study there? He’ll carry a bazooka and slaughter people!”

Hey you have not even graduated from school and dare to say that? And if you are really a graduate, which University are you from? Could you stop all the unconstructive criticisms (read: bullshit!) please? And if thou art really a Harvard graduate, pity that you have lost your compassion and are not civilized enough to comprehend such tragedy!

2. “He just brings shame to the country. Now Indonesia’s image has been stained. Thanks to him!”

Hello? Who are you to say that? What have you contributed to Indonesia? -I bet it’s just a random bullshit on the crappy forums. That Indonesian student represented the country at the International Mathematics Olympiad 2006 in Mexico, was an ASEAN Scholar, and worked his ass off to flourish the image of the country. In case thou art really a Warren Buffet-level or Alan Greenspan’s league who are in a capacity to judge him, please understand that every individual is unique, and you cannot force your way of thinking to others!

3. “Suicide is a stupid thing and he is a fool. I bet that he’s not devoted to God.”

Dear Mr/Mrs Preacher, are you a Heaven admission committee? Are you really in a capacity to judge the good/bad deeds? It’s about him and God (and not you in between). I loathe to death if people start talk as if they are the man closest of being a God. It’s super sickening.

Sincerest apologies if I am really in a very bad mood today. But I really mean my words above!

25 Random Things

Recopy from Facebook xP. And i am not inclined to tag any friends, coz it would be a nuisance.

Let's roll it!

1. I still think Hyde is a sexgod and staring at his live performance evokes visual orgasm =p (puh lease he's already 40)

visual orgasm material xD

2. I am not an early riser, I am a sleeping monster who can sleep everytime everywhere. I have spent a night comfortably at Kobenhavn's Kastrup Airport, Athens airport, Charles de Gaulle airport and fallen asleep at Musee du Louvre! xD

Zzzzzz everywhere

3. One of my biggest accomplishment in life is to be able to watch L'Arc-en-Ciel L'7 Concert in Hongkong in May 2008!

Nosebleed day

4. Due to wrong flightbooking, I spent a night in Paris alone at Charles-de-Gaulle airport. My last attempt to sleep at the prayer room failed, and so did the plan to sleep at the emergency staircase. Finally I ended up sleeping at the departure hall. I got countless eyes stared at me right after I opened my eyes. This was the biggest struggle in my life to sleep comfortably!

5. Berlin as a city always stimulates me intellectually; and keeps me pondering about the fallacy of socialism as well as the jewish's grandeur exodus. I heart the neverending historical dispute between socialism vs capitalism

Reichstag wooo!

6. I am a greek-geek and was a bit dissapointed to find out that Ancient Agora and Panthenon in Athens are just mere ruins ;__; (I WANNA SEE THE REAL THING LIKE THOSE DEPICTED IN SAINT SEIYA PLEASE!!!!)

7. Despite the temperature of just 33C degrees, I got severe dehydration on my 4th day in Greece, and ended up overheated at the hotel room

8. I am prone to injuries. I always hurt myself at least once a day. Be it a papercut or random stumbled upon something. And i am not a masochist! I think I am just... unlucky =(

9. I heart my current haircut xD

so cupu T_T

10. I can be a hardworker when I want to; but most of the time I am an acute lazybone. However, the hardworking side of me only appears once in a blue moon.

11. While Stockholm is probably one of the most safest city, my MP3 Player got stolen there ;__;

12. My all-time favourite anime/manga should have bishounens, boys' love, blood, psychological-thrill, unrequited love, blood, boys' love, bishounens, murders, and did i mention boys' love? I think platonic love is so pretty!

My most anticipated manga, bwahahahaha

13. I cried several times during Naruto's Sasuke Retrieval Arc and Uchiha Princes' grandeur combat (all hail Uchihacest!). I also cried almost 7 times when crybaby Kira has yet to turn godlike in Gundam Seed.

oh divine brotherly love! TT 3 TT

14. I think Lisbon is one of the most beautiful city in Europe

Oh so ancient, and secluded! i lurve!

15. I watched Shakespeare's Othello at Vienna's Opera House for 5 Euro, and cried -while its conducted in Italiano and I didnt understand a word. Sh*t! Why i sound like an extreme crybaby =__=

Tribute to Mozart ^o^

16. My childhood dream is to be a Manga Artist, my secondary-school dream is to be a lawyer and my high-school dream is to be a journalist. Now I am working my way to be a Manga Artist cum Lawyer cum Journalist xD

17. I often spend my Sunday sit comfortably over a cup of latte at the National Library; read random books -ranging from psycho-disorder theme to 'sewing for dummies' xD

a cup of latte costs $3 at Galilea Cafe

18. My friends have countless weird monickers of me, but i like 'Apret' the most

19. I think of my highschool era as the bloody nightmare I can never wake up from. Nevertheless, my high-school friends have been the most important people in my life!

20. I want to lead my life like Luffy does! Do random adventure, and live life to the fullest! Im soo strawhat's nakama wannabe T_T

Future Pirate King!

21. I wonder why Indonesians are so kaypoh. Being a busybody will only injure your self-esteem sometimes

22. I am suck at Maths and Sciences (well, basically at almost all subjects T_T). I am clueless and a slow-learner. If people around me embodied BMW, Audy or Ferrari, then I would take the role of a bajaj. But bajaj never gives up ne? ;)

23. I am not an anti-social, but i find it hard to keep the bonds of camaraderie. I am not good at maintaining relationship -i think im a hi-bye friend =(

hey you all, please be my friends still!

24. Tegar once said that I am fragile and I second this. My self esteem can easily plunge sometimes -even more volatile than the current stockmarket, but it can radically soar up too high. Enough said that I am an emotional rollercoaster

25. I cosplayed gothic-lolita on Singapore Animefest'08 @ Suntec City *LOL*

sakit jiwaaa xD