Showing posts with label Soliloquy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soliloquy. Show all posts

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Accidentally found this group in Facebook :

Millennium Dreamers

In the spring of 2000, The Walt Disney Co. and the McDonald's Corporation honored 2000 of the worlds most amazing kids. These young heroes, age 8-15, represented over 90 countries. These were the young heroes of the world. People who literally stopped bullets, helped cure diseases, and saved the planet. Being among these amazing children is a memory that gives me hope for the future.

Do you know one of these amazing heroes? Get them to join this group. This isn't about bragging, this is about answering the question "where are they now?". The one thing Disney and McDonalds didn't do is give us a way to find out what bigger and better things that the Dreamers have moved on to.


I'm on a quest. Help me find the dreamers.


Orlando, Florida, USA : I was on the top right hand, beneath Mickey's palm

I was 14 that time. I was once being there, becoming an idealist, a dreamer, with pacifist viewpoint and abundance passion to save the nation, desire to stop middle east conflict, eradicate a tribal war in Africa, oppose the power abuse of United Nations, abolish discrimination, fight against poverty in less developed nations (and combat consumerism at the same time), as well as return the blissful smiles of my countrymen.

I am 22 this time. I want to retrieve that passion, and I don't want to just daydream, I want to do something real. I want to befit the title once and for all.
I need not pseudo power, I need real power. I want to change the world and make it into a better place to live, and I can't do it (alone).

Let's start from now, from yourself. Lend me your hand. Together we can save the world.

~that was an amazing speech isn't it? XD, but I am serious...
~~this is the effect of post reading 'Confessions of an Economic Hitman' (John Perkins) and 'Making Globalization Work' (Joseph E. Stigltz) and post watching 'Code Geass : R2' and 'Gundam 00'
~~~and I am dead serious XD

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Beginning of 20s Crisis

Apratz is still alive, safe and sound! My deepest apology for being completely vanished in the blogsphere, If anyone cares by the way. Do you care? Do you?

Anyway, work is really overwhelming. Recently I was totally zombified by overloaded tasks. Well, it is not that job is redundant; it is me who did it super slow. I myself is an utter slowpoke *sobbing*. I wonder how long will it take to familiarize myself with this business.

Quite sometime, I feel like loosing senses in certain things. I become less sensitive to others, thus reluctant to spend more times to meet counterparts and friends during weekend. I worked wholeheartedly during weekdays, and when weekend comes, I feel like spending time for myself only, and not others. I will be sleeping throughout the whole day, watching anime and reading anything worth all by myself, which made me a sucker in social life,

I realize that I can’t let myself entirely buried by this routine. Working is my x-priority, yet it is my current obligation since I need to payback the Tuition Fee to the Government by working 3 years in here. There’re so many things I want to accomplish in this super short lifespan. That’s why I don’t want to see myself doing the same thing all over again in the next 10 years. Frankly speaking, girls has less responsibility compare to guys in terms of life contingency plan, so I should say, 3 years working is more than enough.

Hopefully I can get enough capital when that time comes; afterwards taking Postgraduate study will be my choice in order to support my life contingency plan. Then easier said than done, I will build up my own company in Indonesia to support community development as well as being a University Lecturer at the same time. Life is so perfect on the top of the paper, but still every second that just passed needs to be fighting for.

Now I sound like I am in the midst of 30s :(.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Taken For Granted

Ok, I was getting tired of all this.

I was always there, when people need me to lean them a shoulder to cry on. I was –in most occasion- trying to give people the best possible outcome that I could do to lighten their troubles. I had always been a good listener for most of times, a caregiver, a provider, and sort of things (that sounds like a self-proclaimed but devil may care for this time around!).

I do believe that good friends must always be a solution oriented, a constructive minded individual who always express their help in a more realistic way, not just a daydreamy being who always sugar the problems with comforting words. I just try to be a good friend (according to my own perception of ‘a good friend’).

And now, I think I was being hated because of that.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

On Being a (manga) artist

Recently I am too busy in involving myself in peculiar yet challenging money business activities. I was doing test and assessment for Research Analyst position in a US-based consulting firm, afterwards doing presentation, analytical and numerical test as well as interview for Research Associate position in a UK-based market research firm, and lastly immersing myself acutely as Temporary Research Assistant in an intergrated research about islamic banking.

I guess I am making myself further away out of the field I delighted.

Do I still have a chance of being an artist? *daydreaming*

I need to go home and think, hopefully ASAP. *crestfallen*

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Desire.Less

Have you ever been into this state?

When we were a primary school student back then, we aimed for a prestigious secondary school…

When we were a secondary school back then, we endeavored for an exceptionally-good high school…

When we were a high school student back then, we strived so hard for getting into a first class university…

Starting from there on, all my passion and desire begin to fade away!

And then, after finishing University life, I have no more enthusiasm, no more exact life-planning continuation.

What kind of life shall I’m heading into, since I even begin to estrange my self identity? Why should I do this and that?

Why do I feel this, is this the result of my ‘introduction of corporate life’ that I encounter? What is a so-called real life?

I will be having a psychotherapy as soon as I go back home.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

High School Whimsical

Despite being persistent to hardly fancy my old high school, I visited it some weeks ago, just to celebrate the entrance of my 2 little cousins there as well as to see my sister =p.

The marching band is about to start ^o^

The Proud Marching Band Squad (But it seems that the bass-drums were bigger in my era O_o)

The Newborn First Grader, welcome to the club XD *devilish smile*

And, I AM still very proud of my old high school, regardless of what society skeptically thinks about that, though I really had to undergo severe dark-ages back then while waiting for the uncertain Aufklarung T_T. I just have to play my role there as an insignificant moving grass, a weakling that destinied to be despised by the superiors, et cetera, et cetera, as I am pathetically worse in academic, physical activity and disciplinary (and it can’t be helped).

The 3rd grader corps^o^

I admit that I have had enough with these things in the past: marching towards no end while facing the fierce sun, take the last row within the brigade (since I am categorized as the shortests), almost deaf because of the overwhelming marching sounds, and so on and so forth, but thank goodness now I feel proud once I saw my juniors do what we did in the past ^o^. I am glad that even though nowadays the tuition fee isn't fully paid by the government, the quality of holistic education here doesn't change that much (well, IMHO). Anyway, I am lucky that my batch is the last batch to enjoy the full schoolarship for 3-years education (though I don't think that I am the one worth of it T_T).

Me and my sister

My sister is one of them ^o^

Anyway, my sister cut my hair O_o and I felt like having baldy times since I kinda used to long hair *weeping*. I was playing my Final Fantasy XII and seeing Ashe’s elegant haircut and suddenly craving to have a cut like that too (and my sister bought herself a razor blade and experimented with my hair, as she claimed that she is a professional hairdresser in her dorm XD).

P.S.
I am still questioned the world for being so unfair during my high school era; how come my sister becomes a member of elite patrol squad while I am not, despite the fact that I am a lot prettier than her XD *envious mode*.

Indonesia, A Long Way To Go...

I had an insightful chat with my old teachers there, which makes me ponder about the future of the country, my beloved Indonesia. Being in Singapore for 2 ½ years (and Europe for 6 months if it is taken into account) had resulted me to abandon the passion to rebuilt, restore truly ‘Indonesia’, as was against my pledge and vow 3 years ago once I become the alumnus.

I realized that it is impossible to salvage the vital system of Indonesian government with our capacity as just students (since I do feel like it is rotten from the core). We need to be on the top of everything, in order to change it from the root. (It sounds super naïve and disgustingly idealistic, but this is precisely true). As a scholar, do it in a scholar way to rebuilt Indonesia, as a researcher, do it in a scientific way to reserve the glorious Indonesia, and as a citizen, do it honorably to restore the dignity of the country. Being on the top of everything, be it, and change the system.

I do hope that there’s no such thing as a ‘brain-drain’, though it’s shameless that the government seemed reluctant to keep their own precious resources to make the better Indonesia. The fact is that, the best sons and daughters of the republic are arming themselves overseas in order to create the new born Indonesia as well as resurrect this country into a glorious and independent state once more.

Well, I hope that I am not just hoping an empty hope ;).

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I lose control
I caught the fluttering butterflies and pasted them all to a board
Good-morning Mr. Fear

(Shinsoku~Lose Control by L’Arc-en-Ciel)

Good Morning Mr. Fear?

Because I am fearless of any challenge,
I will continuously strengthen my inner vulnerabilities!
I keep on going

Life is beautiful ;)

Monday, May 28, 2007

ALAS, CONSISTENCY!!!

After sweat so much in constructing English-written journal so far, I feel like writing in Bahasa Indonesia. I think it will create more intimacy towards readers and I.

My very first reason erecting this blog is primarily because my English is damn-atrocious during my first year of University life! To tell you the truth, I failed my ‘Qualifying English Test’, and consecutively failed my ‘English Proficiency’ subject. The disaster kept on happening when my ‘Business and Managerial Communication’ tutor felt deeply worried of my English. Alas, he encouraged me to write in English as much as possible.

As if being that pathetic was not enough, I received plentiful scoldings from different Tutor(s) of my English Literature subjects despite my gory effort to perform well. However, taking Lit modules was my choice since I heart Literature so much, so I’m not regretting them stained my transcript. If only learning English is as easy as adding up my body-weighs, I won’t be intimidated by couple of Grammar-police(s). (I know they might be reading this, so I guess –Hello grammar-police?-).

But the thing is, if I suddenly change everything to Bahasa, the inconsistency does occur greatly since I have been using English from the very beginning. And I hate inconsistency (even though I always commit that countless of time XD).

Anyway, I admit that I’ve never been to interview for permanent jobs. Some people said that failing ‘English Proficiency’ in our transcript is a devastating issue for the interviewee, because it proves to the interviewer that we are not proficient in English =S! (Is this the reason why I never secure any interview for permanent jobs? Well, devil may care!) But since my ‘English Proficiency’ subject has 0 Academic Unit, and my damned Literature Subjects are NOT counted towards Honour, so I just let it flow and prepare a logical blunders if someone asks XD.

P.S.
I’m proud of failing my EP two times =p.

Found this suuuuper cute video from Youtube. I’ve been wondering about this Live Performance since I first time listened to this song. It really fits my mood right now. Forget the bloody theme; abandon the anguish words, welcome to the chaste and pure lyrics!



I Wish

Lyrics : Hyde
Music : Tetsu
Translation : Police-grammar=p (Sankyou!)

Don't cry, why are you hugging your knees in a night like this?
Wait, I'm running there
I'll be with you before the midnight bell rings

Open the window and see
the city is filled with miracles
you can even hear a nostalgic song
the wonderful organ is singing

If you'd look at me one more time

look!
Many many pure white angels are descending upon you
If you'd laugh,
Let's celebrate this night which was set aside
For I share much love with you,
I'd swim in the sky if you wish

look!
For you are more important than anybody else
No matter how time flies,
I want you to keep smiling
I pray that however I'd become,
you'd always be in happiness,
forever, forever