ANTI-SOCIAL FOR NOW

29th of August marked my last day being a corporate slave. Right now I am officially unemployed.

I need to re-think about everything to re-organize my life, therefore, i'll alienate myself for a shortwhile, being an anti-social, a Hikikomori for the next 1-2 weeks.

Anyway, i got a giant 'thank you' card from my colleagues in my last day. These was written in the envelope :

Dedicated To : A Dreamer, A Japanese Talker, An obsessed anime fan, and a True Human Being

Well, that's 'encouraging' in its own way ^^.

Regards,
Apret
Unemployed
In a search to become a true human being

WTF man, I'm a novel ESTJ?

Your Expression Number is 8

Driven and ambitious, you have the potential to reach great things. You're both good with money and good at getting things done quickly. You are an excellent leader and a great judge of character. Full of energy and confidence, you undertake projects that seem impossible. Dependable and determined, you are able to understand the bigger picture. Even if you are not in a position of power right now, it will fall to you. At times, you can be very materialistic - and obsessed with status and power. While this isn't always a bad thing, you sometimes take it to the extreme. In order to be truly happy, you must balance the material and spiritual in your life.

What's Your Expression Number?

I won't give a damn for fortune reading or numeric chasm whatsoever, but i was fairly shocked when i tried this. It suits my MBTI personality as an ESTJ!

I do believe that people can change -in fact people always change! When i was still in Uni -being a fail student-, my MBTI profile was somehow skewed to ESFJ (a compassionate, caregiver archetype) and depicting sympathetic, warm-hearted and loyal personality *vomit blood*.

As i stepped into a dreadful corporate world, i turn into a very sensible individual, with overt judgement towards something. I used to be very competitive and unsecured over something trivial. I am being quite aggressive and set too high standard of myself -which makes me emotionally drained and blames on myself afterwards. To be honest, i'm getting tired of this. I want my old self to resurrect!

I bought some books about self-help during Jakarta Book Fair about a month ago. The titles revolve around 'finding your success', 'getting back your old self', 'smart and smarter', 'Self Hypnosis', 'Finding your dream', 'Hell at Work' (oops!) et cetera, et cetera. I haven't had time to catch up with everything. I hope I can cover some after i take my bloody GMAT.

PANIC PANIC!!!

My flatmate and I are currently having GMAT-GRE fever. I once discussed with her about GRE vocabularies this afternoon during crazy GMAT-GRE drill in Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Holland Village, and ended up mistakenly referring 'prodigy' as 'pedigree'.

And 'prodigal' as 'prodigy'

And 'officious' as 'spacious office' (dari Hongkong! iya gw tau!)

And 'abhorrent' as 'abhorrer'

T___________T

We are so stressed out until the waiter asked us to leave because the cafe didn't favor people studying and hogging the seat while so many costumers are coming. Bah!

I will be taking GMAT in 6 October 2008. It cost me a bomb so now im broke to the extreme. Total panic!! I hope my brain is usable by the time I have the test.

I AM AN ACUTE NARCISSIST !!!

I had a graduation photoshoot with my hi-school batch who just graduated this year! My Convocation gown has already covered by spider-net and few cockroaches because of the long awaiting! (nay im exaggerating :p).

Esplanade!! Argh hot hot never apply sun-screen lotion -_-"

Gullible 'Angel', heh heh heh XD

His special ability is : Gossiping and taking pics of himself, im just his casualty

'Asal-tapi-koq-jadinya-nyeni' pose

The girls

Im sure that one day if i become a granny, i'll show my grandson these pics ^o^ *corny!*

Anyway, i am looking forward to wear another Convocation gown in the next 2 years; in the different school, different style, different country with more advance 'title'...

I Need Luck! Aplenty of Luck!

I think every debater will bombard me with 'inconsistency' issue when i start blogging about this. But now i really need luck. Aplenty of them. Please cross your finger. I don't want to be penniless for the rest of the months while staying in a foreign country. I am ugly and fat, I've got no body to sell (wtf *lol*).

I have resigned from my current job. Affirmative. Yet i need to find another source of earnings in order to realize the 'next' step in my life. I once claimed that i intend to do academic research or community development (and no longer corporate), but in the past few days, i got chance to attend interviews for an investment banking company (and a public service company). Did i just say that i dont want to do corporate? Well, money is the root of all evil, and money did talk *evil grin*! There goes my consistency...

I know that the feeling of being jobless and penniless isn't really healthy. It'll eventually consume our positivity and self-esteem, especially when being in here, an (in)famous red dot lifeless land. Even thinking about the rise of inflation and the skyrocketing rent fee make me chocked, since the rate of inflation didn't justify with the rate of increment *lol*. Now i sound like i give up being a dreamer and turn into a loyal realist.

So now im crossing finger. I'm certain that He will always give the best (and therefore grant everything we want in just a matter of time).

Talking about positivity...

When im thinking back the old days, i have been bestowed upon countless of luck as well as 'lucky coincidence'. I used to be adventurous and unpredictable yet my carelessness level is Godlike! (Can you imagine, how frustrating the combination could be?) However, i tried to be positive at all times. I keep ensuring myself that everything will be fine, just chill up and enjoy everything even though as if we're standing motionless in the abyss of gehenna.

These are true story about positivity (and not stupidity!!!). Hope it inspires you (the positivity, not the stupidity coz im talking about positivity whatsoever!)

Giant Anchor embodied decisiveness! (actually pic is a bit unrelated -_-)

1) I have mistakenly booked my flight during my Mediterranean-Bohemian Euro trip. That time i was en-route from Thessaloniki, Greece on the way back to Copenhagen. I actually supposed to take connecting flight from Bratislava, Slovakia while i thought that i'll be taking flight from Vienna, Austria. And i just realized my mistake on the D-Day, 4 hours before departure! For God's sake, Slovakia and Austria are two different countries, and I am ALL alone with zero ability to speak in Slovakian or German. Let's say i can reach Bratislava sound and safely but there's still a big chance that i'll miss my flight. The horror images of 'The Hostel' haunted me by the time I reached Bratislava. Will I make it? WILL I? But fortune favors the bold! I am sure that I can make it! And then, yes, i can make it on time...

"I can make it!!" An Imbecile thinking about the future then suddenly haunted castle comes up (??)

2) Due to a mistake in flight booking again (this time it's my friend's), i need to spend 2 days ALL alone in Paris, France. I haven't booked any hostel while in the meantime people said that Paris is not that safe (and on the top of that, I can't speak French nor read map). So i decided to camp in Charles-de-Gaulle airport! My parents worried like mad, but hey this is the flame of youth! This is the essence of travelling! And in the end, equipped with amazingly dense-positivity i am still surviving without experiencing any pickpocket or whatsoever. Positive, positive and positive always!

Yes i dont want to leave this place but that doesnt mean that im okay with missing my flight T_T

3) On the way back to Singapore from Copenhagen, i ran to the wrong flight gate. Instead of running to British Airways -my actual flight, I bumped into Scandinavian Airlines and almost board the wrong flight and missed chances to go back to Singapore again. But then again, I kept telling myself that I will REACH Singapore for certain no matter what happens *the fire of youth starts igniting*. My actual flight was delayed so I can make it on time. Yes, it was a miracle, and i do believe that being positive is one of the key factor to reinforce it.

4) Et cetera et cetera.

I know that I cannot always effortlessly depend on luck and no others; but in fact i think i always do 'something' to reinforce that luck; I put extra effort like mad and pray like mad and being positive and confident like mad also. So here is the formula :

Luck = Effort + Prayer + Positivity

And it is absolute form of equation and cannot go on the way round! Thus you can't change that into this :

Luck - Positivity = Effort + Prayer

Or this :

Luck - Positivity - Prayer = Effort

Thats epic FAIL!!

After going through the dark tunnel, you'll encounter a very blue sky! ^o^

Hence, for you who already read this up to this point, i am not writing crap anymore. This is serious post even though the way i write is bimbotic (it has been always like that, I wonder). Let the luck emerges perpetually in our life, by doing non-stop effort, praying and being positive!