I was at Yong Siew Toh Conservatory Concert Hall with Au Rora to watch String Chamber Evening (Pal, thanks for showing me this amazing place!). For free admission show (yes, I honestly confess that it is free, no wonder I was coming), it was really extraordinaire! Perhaps most people could fall asleep when viewing it, but I drowned in fascination that moment, as if I was there at Sydney Opera House or such XD.

Really want to learn classical piano! And later become soloist and perform in Esplanade *midsummer night’s dream*.

By the way, my short story has won Lip-Ice Selsun Short Story Competition. Adilla and I got the same place, as ‘the best 30 short stories’. Well, since I never produce creative writing in the past 2 years, I am pretty satisfied with the result ^o^. We suppose to get parcels from sponsors as gift. Afterall I need to be more persistent to write T_T.

This week’s accomplishment, I finally submit my resume along with cover letter to Boston Consulting Group ^o^ *sound of fireworks* (bunch of thanks to Adilla and Police Grammar for editing). Reasons to apply, mostly because there were a lot of people applying and my lovely Adilla did the same thing! (O Adilla, if you fly to seventh heaven, please take me with you, if you fall to abyss of hell, please throw me instead XD XD)

Exam is coming in two weeks time! I oblige to hog seats in library every morning and camp there until closing time *sobbing*.

Things I (did/wasted) During My Return

O, RPG wisdom
Thou has shown thee wonderful charm
I am trance!

Yay!! I finally finished Suikoden V and accomplished good ending. Not only I was able to gather all of 108 characters safely and alive, but also, I GOT “true” good ending!

Prince and Lyon become Queen’s Knight and fight alongside brand new Queen Lymsleia to rebuild Falena Kingdom ^0^

However, I somehow missed tenses and breaks during the playthrough. I enjoyed myself killing boss battles, slashing worldmap enemies, committing one-to-one combat, and more importantly, controlling troops to slay foes in major battles *fainted in excitement*.

I’m dying to play another playthrough in New Game+.

There are still a lot more RPGs I want to explore!

Shadow Hearts, Xenosaga, Shining Tears, Grandia 2, Shin Megami Tensei, Star Ocean Till The End of Time, FINAL FANTASY XII, KINGDOM HEARTS II

Exams and FYP are tormenting T_T

Dear All,

Perhaps I'm not good to express feelings in words...

But in the first and foremost chance,
When God’s gate of infinite mercy is widely opened
And Angels descend from heaven spreading their gentleness
And Humans are born back to innocent in grace and blissful state

I beg your forgiveness to atone my past mistakes and every single sin I’ve committed =)

Taqaballalhu minna wa minkum, minal aidin wal faidzin

Happy Ied Fitr 1427H

P.S.
Sorry for dissapearing for a moment XD

These are the arts (eww, looks awful!), I displayed them in my board

Yesterday i went to Comic and Illustration Workshop held by Visual Art Society. It was so nice seeing people with same hobbies and interest gather together. Well, what could you expect of just 3 hours drawing workshop? Personally i just wanted to enjoy myself drawing without thinking much.

When the instructor saw my arts, he surely surprised and praised me -the thing he never do for the rest of the class. He mentioned that I do have talent, my drawing-eyes were so sharp and pretty, (though the clothes still looked stiff!), the whole shape was very good, etc *soaring to the seventh heaven*. I was very pleased, even more happy than getting A+ in a Quiz, although i somehow knew that perhaps it was kind of encouraging words. Still, i think those arts i draw were not that good (i never draw lately, much ado about nothing!).

The instructor invited me to visit his office on Sunday (sadly I'm going back already), and kept asking about my interest in Shoujo style.

From the time being, i realized that i do have passion in this business. Hopefully, i could apply as one of the instructor, or any position relates to this respect when I'm graduating next year. I have no guts to enter the stressful corporate world =P.

My sincerest apologies went to my father, who're longing his daughter to be a Public Accountant or Financial Analyst, and more importantly to my mother, who're expecting her daughter for being a doctor, nurse and teacher =P. Call me losers, but Devil-May-Care! I have no regrets!

I really don’t remember much about when my life has departured from
What is the so-called; real life?
So many unusual phenomena and sufferings
Hanging between reality and illusion
Realize what’s surrounding me
The end of life or the beginning of death
Do you notice me?

(Hyde’s Self Portrait Art and Words No 4)

Hyde-kun can write poetically beautiful text in both English and Japanese. His lyrics are well-written, contain persona and coldness aura in both English and Japanese. His writings are deep, pessimistic and dark in both English and Japanese. Simple and straightforward, earnest and bold in both English and Japanese.

Meanwhile, my English is broken, and my Bahasa Indonesia is just losing its souls. My English is overflowed by so many grammatical errors, while my Bahasa Indonesia is entirely pathetic. Atrocious and dreadful in English and Bahasa Indonesia, I am suck at both. Why can’t I also create good writings in both English and Bahasa Indonesia like the way he does?

Making a model dream
Following the dream in the white world
Breaking and following
Still breaking and following
... There is nothing

(Hyde’s Self Portrait Art and Words No 25)

It’s simply because… I’m not Hyde-kun T_T.

*Love the photos, very artistic ^o^*

Ramblings and My Parallel Mind

I’m currently enchanted by (again) the bizarre world of Kaori Yuki, titled Fairy Cube. The story is just moving relentlessly without flaws, and the twisted aspect is even worse. Sadly, it already ends in volume 3, and I manage to have them all ^o^. For Thou who are pretty curious about this new dazzling graphic novel, do not hesitate to borrow them from me.

Though I’m still thinking that Kaori Yuki’s masterpiece is ‘Angel Sanctuary’, thereby she portrays the chaotic aspects of heaven and hell as well as creates a satirical parody of Angels, God, Human and Demon’s presences. (But who cares since it has a romantic happy ending? ^o^), Fairy Cube is pretty cool to re-taste her amok and eerie world.

More importantly, I just heard a terrific news about the reunification of L’Arc-en-Ciel *so many screamings out there*. Finally they commend a live tour performance in the entire Japan, and soon thereafter, Le Ciellers can vote their favorite singles to be included in their brand new singles compilation. I choose ‘In The End’ as my most desired single, and not ‘Flowers’ or such. The reason is simply because our darling Hyde-kun plays tambourine inside the song, and the way he performs that song in Live Concert is super adorable. (Why not he constructs Qasidah songs instead? And plays Nasyid perhaps?)

Moving to the issue of securing job before graduation, I have to admit that I cannot escape them. Afterall, I don’t want to be a burden of my parents to payback my Tuition Fee and Study Loan. I’m not a risk averse person, who could runaway somewhere out of this world avoiding the 3 years bond. I want to play safe. Nevertheless, I still have no idea about what career option I should choose, or what company to start into? Anything comes to my mind is just Procter and Gamble, a largest FMCG company all around the world. Well, we’ll see whether my not so beautiful grades can take care of this T_T.

Numerology Readings

I'm going to Astrology.Com and coincidentally trying to find my numerology readings which (interestingly) reflect me the most! Frankly speaking, I don't want to believe in such, but the readings more or less reveal the portrait of my personality =S.

Here are the infamous readings:

A deep inner restlessness and discontent with the status quo makes you seek out adventure, excitement, and the unconventional. You thrive on new ideas, change, travel, experimenting with new ways of doing things. Predictability and routine make you feel lifeless and unhappy so you must find a lifestyle that is varied enough to be mentally stimulating and challenging. Independent, freedom-loving, and easily bored, you have trouble making commitments and finishing projects. You often "move on" prematurely, whether in a personal relationship or in your work. You need to develop discipline and perseverance when you have an important goal.

You have many talents and need many outlets and avenues for their expression, but try to finish one thing before attempting the next.

True, it resembles the personality of an artist *lol*. The conventional career path doesn't suit me very much (sadly, I cannot escape it , at least from now on*sobbing*).

I waste my recess week just to commit sinful misdemeanors, such as watching shounen-ai movies, procrastinating, sleeping, writing rubbish, as well as engaging in many other sluggish activities (O’ Dear God, Please bestow me Your compassionate atonement for those sins I’ve committed T_T).

What makes me annoyed is the matter of plot device of those movies I watched, ever since they don’t have a lovey dovey happy ending. Though I love to see the twisted and melancholy ending, still I do expect some characters to deserve a happy ending after countless agonies they’ve encountered with. *Spoiler Alert*

Loveless

“’It’ is your future, it is your destiny.” –Seimei, in the last episode.

Starting from Loveless, the story has some shocking revelations, such as the cat-boys as protagonist, and the issue of homosexual and heterosexual pairings as the matter of destiny faced by humans. The narrative begins when the 17 years old Seimei told his only brother, Ritsuka, about his real name, which is ‘Beloved’. Soon after, Seimei was found dead, and Ritsuka suddenly lost his memories. Later, a man called Soubi tells Ritsuka about his real name, ‘Loveless’, and they start to investigate the mysterious death of Seimei and reveal the horrible truth behind that respect.

I do admire Ritsuka for struggling restlessly against the cruel fate that he runs into, notwithstanding the fact that he’s just a 12 years old boy. But the thing is; I hate the way the movie ends, since it shows neither resolution nor exact conclusion. The mysteries concerning the death of Seimei are still there, means Ritsuka must still beckon the torments of his destiny. And, for Soubi, please I beg you to protect our helpless Ritsuka!

Yami no Matsuei

“Those who live in the darkness wander aimlessly.” –opening quote.

Yami no Matsuei, which literally means ‘Descendant of Darkness’ is not a recommended movie for the weak-hearted and the narrow minded, as it shows dark twisted tales, pertaining to murders, rape, homosexuals and many aspects of incurable mental illnesses possessed by the characters. The story revolves around the Gods of Death who investigate the case of peculiar death caused by the mysterious evil spirits (which later be found that it originally committed by one person). Well, I’m utterly disappointed with the ending, since it still leaves me so many inexplicable questions. The villain, Dr Muraki, is still alive, after causing countless casualties, and our seductive gods of death, Tsuzuki and Hisoka are still dealing with impenetrable darkness inside their heart.

The truth is; I do weep after finishing this series, since I empathize with almost all of the characters in the movie (in fact, I’m the one who’s light hearted!). Our protagonists’ (as well as our beloved villain’s) childhood memories are extremely grotesque, and it is later revealed at the very end. Afterwards, the level of angst is worst, and yet psychotic (and I’m in love with those aspects *grin*).

In the end, I must pay that self-indulgence with painful trade offs (*thinking about camping in library to finish research methodology of my Applied Research Project, do the online simulation games for my Strategic Management module, and write two more Literature essays*).